Naruto's Oblivion
by Diresquirrel
Summary: Gato got a little bit greedy and didn't anticipate how ninja would react when you sell off their baby ninjas. Naruto, Sakura, Haku and Sasuke later wake up in a dungeon.
1. Hokage, I lost the kids

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** This fic is not for lore monkeys, though people who have played the games will get more of the jokes than others. Yes, I know that these are not the real Akaviri from the games. This is for fun. Don't jump all over me.

I also don't own Naruto or the Elder Scrolls, so don't jump all over me for that either.

* * *

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**Naruto's Oblivion**

By DireSquirrel

Chapter One

_A Bad Deal  
_

* * *

Kakashi awoke to the sounds of a woman sobbing. As he stood up, he looked and saw Tsunami clutching a young boy, no more than eight. Tears ran down her face as she looked at jonin.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed as she sat slumpbacked at the kitchen table. "I'm _so_ sorry."

The normally late and lazy ninja was suddenly all business. His awareness was shot back up and he started taking in his surroundings. Naruto's coat was still on the chair. Sakura's hair comb was still where she had set it the night before at dinner. Sasuke's giant shuriken was still propped against the wall where he had been cleaning it the last time Kakashi was awake.

"What did you do?"

Tsunami looked at him with sorrow. Guilt was all over her stance and expression. Kakashi could tell it wasn't an act.

"I didn't have a choice; they had my son," she told him. "Your kids, I drugged their food and they took them away."

"Who?"

"Gato's men."

"When?"

"Yesterday afternoon," said the client from the doorway. Tazuna looked at the younger man with a pained expression. "I was down at the bridge when suddenly all the orange kids vanished in smoke." He looked at his still sobbing daughter. "You should have just told us that they had Inari."

"Yes," Kakashi growled. His hands flickered through an interrogation technique that forced the weak-minded to speak the truth. "Now, where did they take them?"

"They said something about the docks and Lightning," Tsunami replied. She tried to meet his eyes, but glanced away the instant

Kakashi glared at the woman with an anger he had rarely felt before. But he didn't say anything more. If he had, he knew that it would have been counter productive. He'd just finally gotten them to work as a team and he lost them. He was positively furious. He turned and spun on Tazuna.

"You," he commanded. "Get that bridge done."

The Ninja stood up and loaded up with his students' gear. He tucked the scroll into his vest and started towards the door.

"Where are you going?" the bridge builder asked.

"I've got some kids to find," Kakashi replied, sending one last glare at the client's daughter. The door slammed behind him only to fall off from the force of the blow. The Wave citizens saw the man summoning a dog and sending it off before vanishing in a swirl of leaves.

* * *

Zabuza woke up groggy, like he had been fed something more than just the herbs Haku had been gathering. Then he realized he was not alone and not where he remembered going to sleep. Standing over him was the dwarfish Gato looking like the cat that caught the canary.

"So, you're awake," the short man cackled. "You'll fetch a good price back in the village of the Bloody Mist. Your brat wasn't worth anything, so we sent her-him-whatever along with those other brats. Won't make me much, but sometimes the money is only an added reward."

He was about to say something more, when Zabuza was suddenly up and clutching the fat man's neck through the bars. With a snap of his arm, he pulled, slamming Gato's head into the steel frame of the cell. Then the missing-nin snaked his arm up around the magnate's neck and pinned him to the bars.

_"What-did-you-do-to-Haku?" _The words were snarled and low and a less arrogant man would have recognized the menace in the tone.

"Sold that bitch to-gerk!" he cut himself off as the arm around his neck flexed, temporarily cutting off his air.

"You sold Haku to where?" Zabu continued.

"Some ship," Gato said quickly. "I had my bodyguards take care of it. Now let me go!"

Zabuza paused for a moment before nodding.

"Thank you for breaking my contract," he said as he flexed and physically pulled the man's head through the bars and watched him choke to death on his own blood. Zabuza flashed through some hand signs and a dragon of Gato's blood burst through, wrenching the steel grate off its hinges. Embracing his new fought freedom with a stretch of neck and arms, he glanced around, leaned down, and plucked the shades off Gato's corpse.

Sliding the shades onto his nose he nodded to his former employer.

"A pleasure doing business with you."

* * *

Needless to say, the mercenary population of Wave was significantly decreased as the two Jonin used some aggressive interrogation techniques into finding out where their charges vanished to. After three hours of slaughter and inquiry, the two found themselves on opposite sides of a room with Zōri and Waraji cowering between them.

Kakashi glanced at the bodyguards and then at Zabuza. The missing-nin was drenched in too much blood to have been still in the employ of Gato, still keeping some awareness of the missing-nin, he glanced at the bodyguards.

"Where are they?" he demanded.

Zōri promptly shat himself.

"They sold Haku," Zabuza said. "So don't kill 'em 'til I get where and how."

"They took my team as well," Kakashi admitted, guessing that this "Haku" was the missing accomplice. "Gato?"

"Permanent vacation," Zabuza replied. He pointed to the two cowering bodyguards. "Said these two took care of the selling."

"I guess I'll just have to be a little more aggressive in my interrogation," Kakashi commented. For the first time, he slid up his forehead protector and let his three-pronged red eye spin. Soon enough, the two were spilling everything as the genjutsu encouraged their obedience.

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY DAUGHTER WAS SOLD AS A SLAVE?"

The Third Hokage winced at the screech. Ever since Kakashi had sent in his report, Sarutobi had been dreading telling the council what happened. However, his two old teammates had somehow learned Kakashi had been around and his companion was a bit different from the three he started the mission with. Now he wished he had put it off a little longer. The normally calm and sedate older Haruno could become just as loud and angry as her daughter and this was one of those few instances. With Chunin exams coming up in a month he didn't need the added trouble of a possible split with the non-shinobi citizens.

Sarutobi watched the woman rant as he puffed on his pipe silently. When it looked like she was finished he pulled the cotton balls out of his ears.

"Sit down," he instructed. When she didn't, the Hokage slammed his hands on the desk. "SIT DOWN!" The result was quick obedience. "I am telling you as a courtesy, but I might remind you that I didn't have to, I could have just told you that she was on an extended mission. Now, you are not to speak a word of this to anyone else. On pain of death."

"YOU CAN'T-" she was silenced by the ANBU who appeared behind her with a blade to the pink haired woman's throat.

"Yes, I can," Sarutobi cut in. "I am the leader of this village, and I am responsible for the lives of all involved. You, civilian or not, will obey my will or I will have you killed as a traitor for giving out state secrets."

"But she's my baby," the woman sobbed.

"And she's _my_ ninja," Sarutobi shot back. "You might have given birth to her, but until she retires from service, she belongs to me first. I have people looking for her, good people." He looked towards the mountain that bore his face between three others. In the morning sun after a night of rain, the 4th Hokage looked like he was crying. "I am sympathetic to your loss, but if your daughter shows the same intelligence that she displayed in the Academy, she will come out on top of things."

* * *

_Back in Kumo_

"Wait, so you say this isn't where they took them?" Kakashi demanded with one hand holding the ship captain off the deck by his collar and the other with a kunai poised to stab.

"Uh, no, we sold them off on a ship headed towards some place called Tammy's Reel," the ship's captain managed to reply. "Selling ninjas is bad for business here, the villages always find out. Not to mention the cost of keeping them down isn't really worth it most of the time. Tammy's Reel is the place to go."

"Where's that?"

"I don't know," the captain said as he vainly tried to pull the ninja's fingers off his neck. "We only go so far as the Summerset Isle, which is a strange name because it's on the Equator and is summer pretty much year round. Tammy's Reel is further northeast beyond the isle."

"You had better hope that they're alive and well, because as soon as I get back, your operation is going down, capiche?"

"What?"

"I said do you understand?"

"What?"

"_Common_ motherfucker! Do you speak it?" Zabuza said from the doorway. "I'm holding you and yours responsible for anything that happens to Haku. Do you understand?"

The ship captain nodded while wincing, still firmly in Kakashi's grip.

"You are going to make detailed maps, and they are going to be accurate, or else I'll be forced to put a really big hole in the bottom of your boat while you are at sea, and this is a good time to remind you that I can walk on water and sleep walk at will," Kakashi commented. "And you don't want that, do you?"

The ship-captain shook his head frantically.

"I found their clothes and gear, at least what they had on them when they were taken," Zabuza said, holding up a scroll. "They kept them in the hold."

"Great," Kakashi grumbled as he tossed the ship captain on his bed in the corner of his quarters. "So we've got baby ninja in another country with absolutely no gear, and worse, a Naruto without ramen. This is not going to end well."

* * *

"Wake up Sakura! Wake up!"

Sakura Haruno awoke to the unpleasant sound of Naruto's voice in stereo. She turned over and found him not wearing the same kind of painful orange he was so infamous for. In fact, both of him were wearing rags. Glancing down, so was she. Dream, she was clearly still dreaming. Her attempts at returning to sleep were stifled by the cold stone and rancid bedroll beneath her.

"What is it?" she grumbled as she rubbed her bleary eyes.

"We're in a DUNGEON!" Naruto proudly proclaimed.

* * *

**Next Time: ** In a DUNGEON!


	2. In a DUNGEON

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**Naruto's Oblivion**

By DireSquirrel

Chapter Two

_In a DUNGEON_

.

* * *

"We're in a DUNGEON!" Naruto proudly proclaimed. The pink haired girl's eyes snapped open. Yes, they were in a dungeon. Stone walls, manacles on their wrists and they were all wearing rags. All four of them. Wait, four?

"Who are you?" Sakura asked, looking at the pretty girl next to her.

"I'm Haku," she said.

"I met him when he was picking medicinal herbs," Naruto said.

"Wait...HIM?" Sakura asked, gawking at the pretty face.

"Yeah, I was pretty surprised too," Naruto prattled on. "He's cuter than _you_, Sakura!"

That earned Naruto a lump on the head.

Haku just shrugged. "It's a fair cop."

Sakura growled a bit before attempting to snuggle up to Sasuke. "You're going to help us get out of this, right, Sasuke?"

"_hn,_" the dark eyed boy replied as he shook her off. He proceeded to attempt to beat his previous brood record of 43 hours that he had achieved on first anniversary of the Uchiha massacre. It wasn't a sure bet he would be able to beat that record, but there was potential, and he had been going on for about a day already. Unfortunately, he probably wouldn't beat the all time Uchiha brood record of 146 days, 23 hours set by Izuna Uchiha after his brother stole his eyes without asking. Other Uchiha had come close, but Izuna was still the epitome of the Way of the Brood, the closest thing the Uchiha Clan had to a religion. Seeing this, and having observed such behavior in her crush in stalkings past, Sakura sighed and assumed the fetal position until Naruto got into a verbal altercation with the prisoner across the hall.

"All you stupid Akaviri, coming here with your fancy weapons and your stupid clothes," Valen Dreth snarled. "You try, and you try and you try, but you always fail when you invade. But now? Now you're all stuck in here with me! But Ha! You're going to DIE in here!"

"Shows what you know, bastard!" Naruto said with a superior grin. "I'm gonna get out of here, and you're gonna see my face on mountains! I'm gonna live and become Hokage! Believe it!"

"What's a hoe-cag-ay?"

"The Hokage is the Hokage!" Naruto unhelpfully explained.

"Ah, you hear that? It's the guards," Valen taunted, deliberately changing the subject so he didn't look like a _complete_ putz. In this, it was a failure, though the plot did ramble on. "They're coming-_for_ _you_! Ha-hahahaha"

Naruto promptly stuck out his tongue and gave the detestable individual a raspberry in response.

Soon enough men and women dressed like samurai started walking down the steps.

"My sons," an old man said. "They're dead, aren't they?"

"No, your majesty, we only heard that they were attacked," a woman replied. She walked slowly and purposefully with a watchful eye as she and a man dressed in purple robes entered view. She kept a hand on her sword at all times. "What are those children doing in there? That cell is supposed to be off limits!"

"I don't know," a dark-skinned man replied. "There must be some mix up with the guards."

"Whatever," the woman growled. "Back up, by the window, we won't hesitate to kill you if you get in our way."

As they walked into the room, two of the three backed up, but Sasuke just brooded in the corner and Sakura just clutched her knees.

The old man, who Haku now assumed was the local lord, or whatever, broke out in surprise as he saw their faces. "You three, I know you," he said. "You are the three from my dreams... Then the stars were right, and this is the day. Gods give me strength "

"Uh, what's going on?" Naruto asked.

"Assassins attacked my sons, and I'm next," the old man said. "My Blades are leading me out of the city along a secret escape route. By chance, the entrance to that escape route leads through your cell. "

"Why am I in jail?" Haku asked curiously, as he pondered the possibilities.

"I'm wondering why he's handing out sensitive information to a bunch of criminals he's never met before," Glenroy muttered just barely loud enough for his Captain to hear. She shot him a glare and elbowed him in the side.

"Perhaps the Gods have placed you here so that we may meet," the old man with the fancy robes replied, undaunted by his bodyguard's comment. "As for what you have done... it does not matter. That is not what you will be remembered for."

"We didn't do anything; we just woke up here," Sakura muttered from the corner. "It wasn't our fault. We didn't do anything."

The Blades looked at them again. They were quite a bit younger than the usual sort of criminal one finds in a prison, and they were in entirely too high spirits for those destined for long incarceration. Well, except for the brood-meister and the pink haired girl. Something fishy was going on here.

Naruto grunted rudely. "Uh, well, old man, then who are you?"

"I am your Emperor, Uriel Septim," he replied. "By the grace of the Gods, I serve Tamriel as her ruler. You are a citizen of Tamriel, and you, too, shall serve her in your own way_._"

"Huh, that's funny 'Cuz, I always thought we lived in the Land of Fire," Naruto pondered. "I've never even heard of Tamriel. Do they have ramen in Tamriel?"

"Uh, what's ramen?" the old man asked. Naruto went bug-eyed, froze up, and fell backwards into a heap of horror. Naruto was stuck in a land without Ramen.

"Why are we in jail?" Haku asked, picking up the slack.

"What your crimes are, I do not know," the Emperor said. "For that is the past, but that is not what you will be remembered for."

"What should we do?" Sakura asked. "We're not even from this country."

"You shall find your own path," the Emperor said, ignoring the exasperated sighs of his Blades as he prattled on with children about destiny and such. "But take care... there will be blood and death before the end." He seemed like he was finished, so the captain of his bodyguards pressed a button none of the four ninjas knew about. The button triggered a secret door, that cranked upwards with a steady rattle of chains and gears, revealing a long forgotten passageway that seemed to have more cobwebs and dust than a haunted house in spring.

"Stay back prisoners," Baurus commanded.

"_hn_," grunted Sasuke in response. He wasn't about to just follow orders of some random bodyguard. He snorted again and rushed the gate, slipping between the last Blade and the door, just as it was being shut.

"Sasuke!" Sakura called out, rushing forward onto to be stopped by the sudden slash of a blade right in front of her nose. It was so sharp pieces of her bangs fluttered to the floor like petals from her eponymous tree.

"I said STAY BACK!"

The black haired boy didn't even look back as he scrambled up the stairs.

"Oh well," said the last Blade. "It isn't like he's going to get far. They'll just assume that he's an escaping prisoner and kill him on sight."

"No!" Sakura moaned.

"If he didn't want that to happen, he shouldn't have gone out that way," Baurus grumbled. "But the rest of you? Looks like it's your lucky day."

"We can go?" Naruto asked, abruptly on his feet and recovered from his brief moment of horror involving the distinct lack of Ramen in Tamriel.

"Just don't get too close," the Blade replied. The man glanced at the sobbing Sakura. "Although you'd better do something about her."

"Right! I'll take care of her!" Naruto said, giving the older man a V for Victory. "And I never go back on my word! That's my way of the Ninja! Believe it!"

"Does everything you say have to end in exclamation points?" Haku asked.

Naruto pondered that idea for a moment, resembling nothing so much as Roden's Thinker. Then he grinned.

"YUP!"

"So, Sakura," Naruto said. "After we get back to-WHAM!

The pink haired girl was not pleased. Sasuke had abandoned her, she was stuck with Naruto and some pretty-boy that she'd never seen before and she was following some crack Emperor through a hole in a dungeon wall.

"That's far enough, prisoners," one of the Blades said a moment before the another screamed.

"ASSASSINS!"

Decked out in Red with strange black metal, they came from all over and assaulted. There were four of them, but it was time to balance the scales. Naruto crossed his hands in the sign for his signature jutsu, creating an army out of nothing.

"What in Oblivion is going on here?" asked Baurus and the Captain simultaneously as the blond kid started beating up everyone in red. "By the Nine! How did he do that?"

The red assassins were too slow and clumsy to fight those numbers, although they did get a few good swings in, causing a few to go up in smoke. It wasn't enough, and soon all four of the assassins were unconscious and tied up in their own robes.

"What _are_ you kids?" the Captain asked. Naruto grinned sheepishly and scratched the back of his head.

"We're Ninja!" the Narutos proclaimed proudly, giving them a thumbs up and a wide, squinty smile that spread from cheek to cheek. The Captain and the other two blades shared a look of confusion before turning towards their Emperor for an explanation.

"The Nine work in mysterious ways," he said with a shrug.

"Alright!" Naruto said with another V for Victory pose. Then he dropped it as the particular words registered in his mind. He was suddenly more worried. "Wait, the nine _what_?"

Suddenly the Blades looked a bit annoyed.

"Great, the Emperor's new bodyguards are two little girls and an idiot brat," the Captain growled under her breath. Sakura snatched Naruto's collar and covered his mouth with her hand to prevent him from expressing his dislike for the statement. "Very well, come along."

"Captain, are you sure?" Glenroy inquired hesitantly.

"Puhleease," the Captain drawled. "Don't you think we'd be in better off with an army like that kind can make?"

"You've got a point."

Naruto grinned, preened under the praise and scratched the back of his neck with his classic fox smile. Haku raised a hand.

"Yes, girl?"

"Uh," Haku said hesitantly. "I'm a boy."

"... … Oh." said the four adults with more than a bit of surprise.

As they were speaking, two giant rats knocked down the wall, revealing a secret passageway.

"Protect the Emperor!" Glenroy commanded as he slashed down with his Katana, the giant rats falling to his blade. The Captain didn't like the looks of another passageway. The Emperor turned to the three children.

"Here you must find your own path. But we will cross paths before the end, I am sure of it."

"No prob, creepy old man," Naruto said with a grin. Glenroy was none to pleased with the boy's tone or word choice.

"The assassins might have come in that way," the Captain said. "Children, we're taking the Emperor through this door. I want you to scout out the passage to make sure there aren't any assassins in there. Baurus, go with them." She handed him a key. "If it is a dead end, here is the key to this door."

"Yes, Captain," Baurus said quickly. He watched as the two Blades and the emperor vanished behind the heavy door.

"What should we do with the assassins?" Sakura asked. "Should we take them to T&I?"

"What's T&I?" Baurus asked.

"Torture and Interrogation," Haku supplied quickly with a pretty smile. Baurus looked down at him for a long moment.

"...You scare me, kid," the Blade told him. He shook his head. "Yeah, might as well bring 'em. Hyperactive kid, can you make some of those...other yous?"

"Shadow Clones?" Naruto asked answering to an appellation used in relation to him many times before.

"Sure, whatever they're called," Baurus asked. "Can you make more?"

"Yup! They'll drag 'em!" And with a simple cross shaped hand sign, ten clones appeared, picking up the unconscious assassins and hauled them along after the motley crew. At first they just dragged them behind, but the heads kept bouncing on stone steps, so Naruto hefted them up with a few more clones.

"Anybody good with Alchemy?" Baurus asked.

"Alchemy?"

"You know, making potions and medicines and stuff," he clarified.

"Haku is," Naruto said, pointing to the girlish boy. At the boy's surprise, Naruto shrugged. "You were picking medicinal herbs when we met in the woods."

"I suppose," Haku agreed.

"Well, Skin and bone those rats, they make a good poison when combined with a few other things, they might come in handy," Baurus instructed.

Haku looked at the dead and bleeding rats and then at Baurus. "I'll, uh, I'll just seal them away for later."

Haku pulled out a scroll from...somewhere and painted a quick seal with blood from his thumb. Placing the dead rats on the scroll, he infused both with Chakra, sealing the rats inside.

"Damn, you can just carry them around like that?" Baurus asked.

"Yup, it's a sealing technique," Haku replied. "It's a lot lighter than carrying around a backpack and all that gear."

"...Right, well, let's go scout out this passageway," the older man decided.

"Yay!"

* * *

Later, Kakashi and Zabuza caught back up to compare notes.

"Zero's Drill?" Zabuza asked. "What the hell kinda place is that?"

"I think he said 'Serial Dill' or 'Sealed Dill'," Kakashi said. "He had a weird accent."

"So basically you learned nothing," Zabuza argued.

"Nope," Kakashi shot back. "I learned they sold them off in a place called the Summerset Isle, which is to the east."

"Why's it called the Summerset isle?

"Maybe it's cold there?" Kakashi pondered. "Anyway, I need to head to Konoha to talk to the Third."

"You're not leaving me behind," the swordsman commented, resting a hand on Kakashi's upper arm. "Yeah? I'll tell you what; Until I get back my tool back, you're gonna get more than you bargained for. I'm your goddamn partner!"

They stared at each other for a long moment before Kakashi shrugged.

"When you say that line, I just feel there's something missing," Kakashi pondered. "I'll see if the Hokage will let you in on the rescue mission."

* * *

One Week Later - Konoha

Sarutobi leaned back and puffed on his pipe in annoyance.

"Still no word?" The other rookie 9 Senseis were sitting down as the third Hokage bit into his favorite pipe and shook his head.

"Kakashi and Zabuza are on their way back from a port in Lightning Country, but no new leads," the man said, seeming older than his years. "The civilians are up in arms because they blame me for losing that girl and the Uchiha. Danzo's the only one worried about Naruto."

"Do you really think it's that simple?" Asuma asked his father. "They were just...sold?"

"I don't know," the third replied. "but we've been quite serious about controlling who knows about Naruto's status. We should have been better."

"So you think that someone's going to find Naruto and turn him into a weapon," Kurenai inquired.

"I hope not," the Third said. "but it could be worse."

"How so?"

"What I am about to tell you is a SS secret," the Third said.

"What about Kakashi?" Asuma asked.

"He already knows," the Third replied. He turned and looked at his son and Kurenai. "Naruto's mother was the previous container of the Nine Tails. In fact, all the Containers have been from the Uzumaki family. It escaped when she was attacked before giving birth to her son, Naruto. If something should happen, if he's harmed enough, the Nine Tails could be released. Contrary to popular belief, it won't be killed when Naruto is."

Silence followed the revelation.

"I just hope that being sold as a slave won't ruin Naruto's idealism," the Third commented as he glanced at the face next to his on the nearby mountain.

* * *

Fifteen rats and a whole bunch of loot later, the quartet came across a more dangerous foe. It took little time for the four of them to subdue it, but the result was less than desirable.

"I HATE zombies!" Sakura declared, flicking zombie juice from her fingers. Haku nodded in agreement. They were only slightly tougher to take down than normal people, but unlike people, Zombies tend to splatter when you kick, stab, slash or otherwise injure them; and Zombie-juice is a lot filthier than blood.

"They smell _nasty_," Naruto commented, making a show of pinching his nose.

"Yeah, well, they've got an ingredient, so you might as well seal it," Baurus instructed. Haku reluctantly did so, hefting the piece of mortified flesh with two fingers onto a fresh stretch of scroll. "It might gross you out, but there are times when a bit of Alchemy can save your life."

"Fine." Haku grumbled.

"Hey! I found a gem in this chest! And a bunch of senbon thingies!" Naruto's clone called out. Naruto's clones were responsible for prisoners, loot and scouting.

"What's a senbon?" Baurus asked.

"It's a needle used in acupuncture," Haku explained. "Although I don't think I'd trust them until they've been sterilized. And those are bent, so they'd require more precision than usual. Not good for my more common techniques."

"Akh-you-what?"

"A healing art," Haku explained. It was getting too tiresome to explain all the little differences between their cultures, though it had yet to cross the threshold from tiresome to troublesome. Any more, and the Mist native would start to feel like a Nara. Naruto's clone ran back over and showed the "senbon" to the group.

"Uh, those aren't needles, they're lockpicks," the Blade corrected. "What would you use them for?"

"Well, things like this," Haku said as he jammed one into a waking prisoner's neck. "It creates a death like state until the needle is removed."

"Wow, that's pretty useful," Baurus mused.

* * *

And then there were goblins:

"WOW! THEY LOOK LIKE GIANT GREEN MONKEYS!" Naruto bellowed into the clan's cavern, the echoes increasing the effect since the cavern had rather good acoustics. And then, every green head turned to look at them.

Baurus gave the boy a look. "The concept of stealth in combat is lost on you, isn't it?"

"Thank you, Naruto," Sakura said as she slid into a perfect facepalm. "Thank you ever so much for getting ALL their attention instead of letting us fight them one at a time."

"Sure! No problem!" Naruto agreed. "Wait, was that sarcasm?"

"YES!" all three of his companions agreed.

"I guess I'd better take care of them, shouldn't I?" Naruto said hesitantly. Showing his talent for being a one trick pony, Naruto created fifty clones and attacked. The first four goblins went down easy, falling to Naruto's superior numbers. Then there were MORE rats that Sakura released by pulling on a rope switch. Then came the problem: the Goblin Shaman. Baurus quickly explained that the Shamans were more dangerous and could cast many spells of various types. They could also channel power through their clan totem. Twenty clones went down to a lighting spell that crackled and sizzled all the way across the cavern. Haku sighed and threw a lock-pick like a senbon, catching the goblin Shaman in the throat. It spewed blood, but then went silent. Baurus looked at the dead shaman, then looked at the serenely smiling Haku, and then back at the dead goblin.

"You still freak me out, kid," Baurus told him.

Haku just shrugged.

Sakura was gaping at him for a different reason.

"You!" she said in a tone usually reserved for Naruto. "You're the Hunter-Nin!"

"What?!" Naruto asked, spinning to look at his new found friend. "REALLY?"

Baurus winced as every Naruto clone yelled along with the original. In the cavern the echoes were deafening.

"Well, yes," Haku replied. He smiled and scratched the back of his head like Naruto. "Didn't think it was a big deal, so I didn't bring it up. Hehehe..."

Sakura gaped while Naruto mused about how cool it was to throw senbon like that.

"Nuts," Baurus said. "All three of you are nuts."

Later on they meandered through a few holes and came out in the original passageway just as the Emperor and his Blades arrived. The strange sand and wood beams were replaced by the classical white marble ruins of the ancient days of the Empire, though not Ayleid. Baurus jumped down to the same level.

"Nothing there but rats, some goblins and the remains of a few escaped prisoners, Captain," he reported. "But the passageway goes all the way through. EMPEROR! LOOK OUT!"

And then more assassins arrived. Unfortunately, summoned armor does nothing to protect against lock-pick senbon, and Haku quickly subdued the new attackers. A short while later, they were similarly trussed up by tearing their rags into bonds.

"Why are all those assassins still alive?" Glenroy demanded.

"For interrogation," Baurus replied. "Haku noted that they might as well be brought along to find out what their organization is and why they're doing this."

"You have a point, but ensure that they cannot wake up at an ill opportune moment, Baurus," the Captain instructed. "But why do you have goblins too?"

"We have goblins?" the Blade turned around and saw about twenty sheepish Narutos holding five unconscious, but alive goblins. "Why do we have goblins?"

"Weeeelllll," Naruto began. "Gramps-Hokage really likes monkeys and his summons's a monkey kind and so's his name, so I thought maybe I should keep them for him?"

That earned Naruto a pink haired fist of clarity. Sakura pulled her hand back and harumphed.

"Don't you get it? We're not anywhere near home! We don't even know where we are!" Sakura bellowed. "You can't just let them hang around like this!"

"So we should let them go?" Naruto asked.

"No," Glenroy said gruffly. "We should kill them."

Haku nodded, the Emperor shrugged (mentioning he saw nothing of their fate on this day), Captain Renault agreed with Glenroy and Baurus bowed to his Captain's command.

"Could I keep 'em?" Naruto asked with big eyes like a little kid. Combined with his small stature and whiskers, the effect was disturbingly cute. Even stalwart Glenroy had a hard time resisting puppy-eyes no jutsu. The Captain turned to the Emperor, who just shrugged again.

"I have no issue with a subject asking for compassion," he intoned. The Captain sighed and nodded towards Naruto. The resulting cheer from all the Narutos was so loud, six would-be assassins fell unconscious out of their hiding places in the room ahead. Glenroy looked at the unconscious assassins, then at Naruto and shrugged.

"Don't know how you did that, kid, but I got no problems with you after that," the Blade replied. The blond boy flashed a fox-like grin and gave the older man a friendly punch in the arm. "Ow! You're stronger than you look kid."

"You should have seen what he did to the zombie," Baurus muttered with a slightly shell-shocked expression. Sakura and Haku shuddered at the thought of the walking corpse.

The Emperor looked around, shrugged once more and nodded. "Perhaps we should continue on our way?"

"Right," the Captain agreed quickly as they started off again, this time with a blond army behind them. As they walked along, the Emperor smiled down at Sakura.

"They do not know why I trust you," he told the girl.

"Why do you?" Haku asked. "Because you don't know us from nobody."

"Most men are ignorant of their deaths and so fear it," the old man replied. "I am blessed with the knowledge of my final hour and I am at peace that my time is short."

Sakura looked up confused.

"How do you know? Do you have some kind of future sight technique, or something?" she asked. Haku nodded, listening in.

"The Septim bloodline is blessed with a talent for foresight, a gift we have received from the Nine," the old man replied. Haku grinned at hearing that Bloodlines weren't looked down upon or persecuted in this strange land.

"The Nine?" Sakura asked. "You mean the Nine Tailed Kitsune that the 4th Hokage defeated?"

In the back of the party, all the Narutos started sweating nervously. The Blades and Emperor blinked at her in confusion.

"No, I'm not familiar with this Kitsune, is it a daedra of some kind?" the old man asked. He wasn't used to having people interrupt him. Behind them, Naruto started sweating even more and even let out a nervous little giggle. He'd never admit that he giggled, but if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it's probably a duck.

...Unless it's Sasuke's hair.

"It's one of the nine great demon beasts, the Bijuu," Sakura explained. "The more tails they have, the more powerful they are. Years ago, before we were born, the Kitsune, it's a big fox with nine tails and all fire and tsunamis, attacked our village."

"Well, then no, that has nothing to do with the Nine Divines," replied the Emperor (who sounded like he should have been commanding a starship. Sakura wasn't sure why she felt that, but it seemed right). "They are the goodly deities that guide our lives. Tell me, children, what signs guide your lives?"

"I'm a rooster," Sakura said.

"Rat," Naruto said from the back.

"Not too sure," Haku replied.

"I'm, er...not too familiar with those signs," the Emperor admitted. Luckily they hit a dead end before Sakura could give a lecture on the Animal zodiac.

Glenroy grabbed the gate and shook it. "Blast! It's barred from the other side, it's a trap!"

"What about that side passage?" Baurus asked, pointing down the other way.

"Worth a shot," The Captain said as she pushed the Emperor and the children (plus about ten of Naurto's clones) into the side passage.

"FOR THE EMPEROR!" the three Blades bellowed as they started cutting down the competition. In the side passage, the Emperor rested a hand on Sakura's shoulder.

"Child, should anything happen to me, please, you must get the Amulet of Kings to Jauffre," the old man told her, nodding to the other too, to show that they were included. "I just know that-"

He was cut off by a snorting taunt by an assassin that jumped through a new secret passageway. He leapt up high, his mace held in both hands as he swung down at the Emperor, only to be pinned to the wall by Haku's lockpicks. The Emperor stared at the girlish boy, stared at the would-be assassin, and scratched his cheek in confusion.

"That's rather odd, I was sure I'd die this day," the old man commented. Haku grinned.

"Sorry to disappoint," he chuckled. A moment later, the Blades rushed in.

"Emperor, are you safe?"

"Yes, quite alright, thanks to these children," the old man chuckled.

"What now?" Sakura asked.

"Children, you must go to Jauffre," the Emperor instructed.

"So, we've got a mission?" Naruto grinned.

"Yes, your first quest as subjects of the Emperor," Uriel replied with a grandfatherly smile.

"I've got an idea, though," Haku said. "Why don't we have you switch clothes with one of the assassins? That way they'll think you're dead?"

"That'd be a great idea if his face wasn't on every coin in the realm," Glenroy grumbled.

"So take the corpse's head?" Haku suggested. Naruto and Sakura looked at him with a gasp of horror. "Please, I used to travel with Zabuza, I've seen worse."

"Glenroy, do it," the Captain instructed. "But what about the Amulet of Kings?"

Naruto raised his hand and hopped up and down. "OO! OO! Pick me!"

"Yes, Naruto?"

"I'll have one of my clones turn into a copy and it'll go with them, and then it can sneak out and tell us where their base is!" he suggested in his usual overly excited style.

"You can do that?"

"Yeah!" and Naruto's closest clone clattered to the ground as a perfect copy of the Amulet.

"Where the hell did you guys come from, any way?" Glenroy asked.

"Konoha, the Hidden Leaf Village," Naruto and Sakura replied.

"The Bloody Mist Village," Haku said.

"Never heard of them," the Blade replied before pointing at Haku. "And you're starting to creep me out even more, kid."

* * *

It took some time, but they finally managed to escape back out the sewers. Once they were outside, Baurus handed them a map. "Here's where we are, and there's Weynon Priory," he told them. "Be safe, but be quick."

"We will!" Naruto said as he, Sakura, Haku and all his clones and goblin prisoners started running across the water. Naruto lost control about half way across and fell in with a splash, getting his companions soaking wet. He made some comment the Blades couldn't make out which earned him a pink haired punch to the head, but soon, the strange trio had made it across the river towards the ruins on the other side.

"What strange children," The Emperor commented, summing up exactly what the others were thinking. "Oh, I forgot to tell them to close shut the jaws of Oblivion. Oh well, they'll figure it out, I'm sure."

With that, they picked up their prisoners, headed northward towards the safety of Cloud Ruler Temple. Unfortunately, the Emperor's vision was right, he did die that day, but peacefully in his sleep. When the others awoke, they sighed before hoisting his body up and taking him to Bruma.

"It was the way he would have wanted to go," Captain Renault said with a sad sigh. "Peaceful and without a violent end."

"No, it's not," Glenroy corrected with a shake of his head. The Captain looked at him confused. The Blade just shrugged. "He always wanted to die under twin redheaded nurses named Mary and Clio. He made sure I knew that, although that _was_ after a few bottles of Cyrodiilic Brandy on his part."

"Who are Mary and Clio?" Baurus asked.

Glenroy shrugged. "Not a clue."

The Captain rolled her eyes and grunted. "Come along, let's get the Emperor to his final rest."

* * *

**Next Time**: A Forbidden Technique


	3. A Forbidden Technique and K-what?

.

**Naruto's Oblivion**

By DireSquirrel

Chapter Three

_A Forbidden Technique_

* * *

The Road to Weynon Priory was fraught with peril. There were goblins, bandits, imps, wolves, and five rabid feral chickens who had come down with a bad case of _Porphyric Hemophilia_. By the time they made their way to the small priory, the trio were laden with more prisoners than reasonable, and Naruto had about four hundred clones hauling them up the steep incline. About half way there, they encountered an Imperial Legion patrol.

"Greetings, Citizen," the mounted soldier said before he realized what was following the three children. "What in Oblivion is that?"

"Prisoners!" Naruto said proudly. "We're working hard to make this road safe!"

"Why don't you just kill them?" the guard asked.

Haku looked rather pale at the comment, Sakura looked uncomfortable, and Naruto looked insulted.

"There's no reason to kill them when they're that weak!" Naruto declared at the top of his lungs. "Look at them! They're wearing animal skins! Even I have better clothes than that and I was drugged, mugged, stripped, dressed in rags and thrown into jail and then released by the old dragon blooded guy!"

"Uh...right," the guard said, momentarily stunned by the boy's vehement response. "Maybe...maybe I'd better escort you to Chorrol just to be on the safe side." He glanced at the 45 struggling bandit prisoners and shook his head. "Or you can just leave your prisoners with me, and I'll, uh 'make sure they go to the right place.' You can count on me!"

"Thanks Legion guy!" Naruto said, dismissing his clones with an excited grin.

Haku leaned over to whisper in Sakura's ear. "Did the legion soldier just use finger quotes?"

"Yes," Sakura said worriedly. "Yes, he did."

"You can, of course," the Legion patrol suggested, "take their possessions as a...bounty and thanks for bringing them in."

"REALLY? We can do that?" Naruto asked. "I thought that was stealing!"

"Not if they're criminals," the Legionnaire replied.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Oh."

"Naruto," Sakura said with a stern tone. "We need the stuff so we can afford a ship back home."

"Right," Naruto said with a reaffirmed nod. "Stripping no jutsu!"

Every bandit and marauder in their possession was abruptly naked. It was more than a little disturbing. The Legion soldier was nervously trying to not show discomfort at suddenly riding more bareback than the phrase normally constitutes.

"NA-RU-TO!" an infuriated Sakura bellowed. Naruto's eyes went wide at the sound of her voice and slowly turned his head only to be soundly punched. "DON'T LOOK YOU JERK!"

"Naruto-kun? You should know that you got Sakura in the jutsu," Haku pointed out. In fact, Naruto was the only one in the immediate area who was _not_ caught in the jutsu.

"I think I figured that out," Naruto muttered, pulling his head out of the impact crater of Sakura' brutal punch.

"And me, too," Haku added, feeling a breeze.

"YOU'RE A BOY?" a scandalized legionnaire called out. His eyes were practically popping out of his head. Naruto looked over and realized, without any doubt what so ever, that Haku was male. Haku might have had a pretty face, but it wasn't _just_ that he was male; he was intimidatingly male in a way the provokes feelings of inadequacy in most other males. He made orc chiefs feel waif-like and insecure in their masculinity.

"Can you just take us to jail?" the sobbing bandits requested, suffering from the aforementioned feelings of inadequacy.

"Yeah," the legionnaire muttered as he strictly looked away from everyone present. "Yeah, I'll get right on that."

Soon enough, the prisoners were gone, Sakura was dressed again and Naruto was in massive amounts of pain. His clones were avoiding anything pink by picking up all the abandoned equipment and gear and hauling the captured animals around by their tethers.

"Why do you know something like that?" Sakura demanded.

"I made it as a prank, but I sealed it except for special occasions," Naruto said as he tenderly probed a bruise. It was quite sore.

"Why'd you seal it?" Haku asked.

"A naked Hokage is something no one should ever see," Naruto replied.

"How old is your Hokage?"

"Old," Naruto replied with a shiver. "Old, saggy and wrinkly."

"Fair enough."

"There were liverspots."

"That's more than enough information."

"And-"

"Naruto, I said that was enough."

"Ugh!" Sakura growled before stomping off in the direction of Chorrol. Or at least what she thought was the direction of Chorrol. Naruto had the map.

* * *

Sakura was not having a good time. After being kidnapped and shipped across the ocean, her Sasuke had abandoned her. She was stuck with an enemy ninja and that perverted Naruto. She didn't even know the people around here. She didn't even know where this country was in relation to her own. The Emperor of this country hadn't even _heard_ of the Land of Fire. She wanted to get to Anvil or the Imperial City and find a way home, but she knew passage wasn't going to be free. She didn't think it was going to be cheap, either. That's not even taking into consideration that Sasuke was nowhere to be seen. They didn't even know if he was still alive.

And what Sasuke did really hurt her. It wasn't that he tried to escape, it was the fact that he didn't even look back, that he never even tried to bring them with him. It was like they were sacks of rocks that he had been forced to drag along and was suddenly allowed to toss aside. Whereas before she had faith in Sasuke, mad, obsessive faith, but now it was broken. It left her feeling hollow inside. Sakura was on the verge of a breakdown and there wasn't anyone she could really talk to.

The irony was that Haku would have understood completely. Out of all of them, Haku was the only one who could really understand having to uproot and move fast to stay on the run. Though he wasn't showing it, Haku was just as upset about being in this strange land. He had traveled before. He and Zabuza had been on the run for years by the time they arrived in Wave. They took missions here and there just to keep food in their mouths. Haku told himself that he should be used to this lifestyle, but there was one glaring difference between then and now: Zabuza wasn't there with him. Haku knew about herbs, about survival, but his world had been completely spun around. But still, he had faith that Zabuza would come for him, even if he was just a tool. In many ways Haku wished he was like Naruto.

Naruto was doing well. Contrary to popular belief, Naruto was more ignorant than stupid. He could be accurately described as an "idiot" which originally meant he was just not using what he was born with, rather than he was stupid. There are many stupid people who aren't idiots. A stupid person couldn't learn a forbidden A-rank technique in just under an hour. You can't do the things he used to do without having a good head on your shoulders. Back when he was younger, Naruto just never learned the right way to do things, and it was taking some time for him to change that way of thinking. But being stuck in another country didn't alarm Naruto. He was perfectly optimistic that everything would eventually work out. He had faith that if they worked hard enough, they'd find a way home. He was perhaps a bit naive, but Naruto was the only one not about to fall under the spell of despair. His life had been bad enough before, but now he wasn't going to give up hope.

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha saw the door closing and knew it was his only chance to escape. He wasn't stupid as the Dunce or the Pink Shriek. He knew those guards wouldn't just let them escape. He saw an opening and took it. He'd never be able to kill Itachi if he continued to be dragged down by those two useless idiots. They didn't even count as friends, so he couldn't use them for the power. He had to kill his best friend. It was the only way to get the power. Now he just needed to find a friend.

Not long after the cell door closed behind him, he came across three people in red and black armor. They screamed something about a Lord Day Gone, whatever holiday "Lord's Day" was supposed to mean, and charged him with maces. The first was disarmed instantly, but the instant the mace left his-her-whatever- fingers, the mace vanished. Sasuke assumed it was some kind of jutsu and hit the second robed attacker with a knife hand to the throat. The first choked as Sasuke used the body to block the blows of the next two. The armor vanished from the man as he died, revealing red robes. Chakra armor created by a technique, it _had_ to be. Sasuke waited for the next to lunge forward, slipped inside his guard and broke the man's arm, driving his fingers into the man's jugular and crushing his larynx. He glanced up to see seven heavily armed men dressed like strange samurai. He flashed a couple of hand signs, took a deep breath and breathed out, incinerating the lot of them. Only weapons and armor remained that glowed red from the heat, but the sharp stench of burning meat was strong in the enclosed space. He had a moment of awareness, as if someone was watching him, but shook it off and proceeded to escape.

He made it to the door before another attack hit him from behind. This was a woman, dressed in silver armor, wielding an unfamiliar style of sword. He could have continued to fight, but instead chose to dive forward as soon as the door opened, rolling through her legs, kicking upwards as he did so, knocking her off balance. She spun head over heels, tumbling down the stone steps in a heap. There was a sickening snap as her neck broke and she ceased moving. Sasuke didn't even watch her die. For the first time in what seemed like forever, Sasuke saw sunlight.

"Stop right there, criminal scum!" snarled another guard. Sasuke reached up with a sword he'd just pulled off a dead guard and blocked the iron clad warrior's slice. Slipping a leg around his opponent's, he managed to trip him, making him fall backwards. The Uchiha didn't even wait to see if he was dead before the dark haired boy took off again. Finally those tree climbing lessons would be of use. He ran forward, ignoring the arrows whistling past his head and up the wall. The Imperial Prison guards gawked as the boy escaped in a way that shouldn't have been possible.

* * *

Three days later, Adamus Phillida looked about the Imperial Prison with a dark scowl as he pondered the reports he'd just read. The final body count was in. Between the escape and the Emperor's assassination, 34 guards were dead, more than twice that wounded. Magic could heal the living, but that did nothing for the dead (at least not now that necromancy had been banned in Cyrodiil), save ensure a good burial. And with the talk coming from the Mage's Guild, not even that was sure these days. He was furious.

"That boy will pay for this," Adamus swore in impotent rage. He spun and glared at his assistant. "I want posters and descriptions all over this city and have them included with the Black Horse Courier. Do we know his name?"

"Dreth says that the others with him called him Saucy or Sauce-Key," his assistant replied. "I checked the records. No one was supposed to be in that cell. By order of the Emperor's Blades."

"Fat lot of good that did," Adamus growled out. "The Emperor's dead and that menace escaped. I want a healthy bounty on his head. Dead or alive, but marked as highly dangerous."

"Sir, you don't think...the Dark Brotherhood?" the assistant asked in hushed tones. Adamus shook his head.

"No, their kind would never be this blatant," Adamus stated flatly. "We would have never seen his face. He might be up for a bit of their training, though, after this massacre."

"I'll send out the bounty warnings immediately," his assistant said, ducking out the door.

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha didn't sleep that night. Instead he ran, gathering supplies and goods for a long trip. He wasn't about to let himself get caught after what he just went through. He needed to find a way back to Konoha. If he managed to gain some power along the way...well, that would only help him in killing HIM.

The first thing the Uchiha did was swipe a bedroll he found tucked away in a corner. The previous owner wasn't around, so the beloved prince of the Uchiha called dibs. It was soggy, mildewed and smelled of something on its last legs. All the same, it was more comfortable than sleeping on the ground. He stole the sack alongside it just to be on the safe side. After that, he didn't spend any more time in the city. His clothes were too obvious and the rags were unfitting a person of his status. He would need replacements.

* * *

Salvation came in sleep. He should have heard the man's approach, but he was obviously more skilled in stealth than the young ninja. It was something Sasuke vowed to work on.

Lucian Lachance was used to the shadows, but he was not used to being pinned to the wall with a dagger and hoisted by his neck. And he was just a boy, easily adopted into the Brotherhood. Yes, there was potential in this child. The Night Mother would approve.

* * *

"Where the hell are we?" Sakura demanded as Naruto, Naruto's clone and Haku looked at the map. They were _supposed_ to be heading towards Chorrol and stopping at Weynon Priory along the way, but it shouldn't have taken this long for them to get there. But at least they were getting a pretty good nest egg from all the bounties they brought in. Those Legion soldiers were really helpful about bringing them in, too.

"Well, according to the map, we're in some place called Skyrim," Naruto replied.

"We've been going south, we can't possibly... wait, let me see that map," Sakura snapped as she pulled the parchment out of their hands. The three boys let out a yelp of protest a moment before Sakura pounded them each with a mighty fist, dispelling Naruto's clone. "_You idiots!_ You've been looking at this map upside down the entire time!"

Haku looked at Naruto with mock insult. "Yeah, Naruto! You've been looking at it upside down!"

"Me? You're the navigator, Haku!" Naruto argued. "You've traveled more than any of us!"

"But none of this is written in Kanji!" Haku protested. The two Konoha natives gawked at the boy.

"Wait, can you only read Kanji?" Sakura asked.

"Well, yeah, don't most people?" Haku asked. Naruto and Sakura shared a confused look for a moment, but the pink haired girl broke it off with a shake of her head.

"Never mind that," she said, changing the subject. "Now, let's see. Do you guys recognize any of these places?" She pointed to several landmarks on the map.

"Uh, no, but there's a castle on top of that mountain," Naruto replied, pointing to a dramatic walled structure on the very peak of the only undulation large enough to qualify as a mountain. The other two glanced down at map.

"There's nothing that talks about height here," Haku pointed out.

"I know," Sakura grumbled. "What I wouldn't give for a nice topographic map right now."

"Would you cut your hair?" Naruto asked.

"Why? What's wrong with my hair?" she countered, her hand going toward her bright locks.

"Would you give a toenail?"

"Naruto, you're getting creepy," Haku pointed out.

"So, why don't we go over to that town and ask where we're supposed to be?" Naruto suggested, ignoring his icy friend's comment.

"That's actually a good idea," Sakura admitted. Inner Sakura just gaped at the idea that Naruto of all people would actually suggest a good idea. The trio soon broke camp and started marching towards the castle in the sky. Five hours later they realized that one: distance was hard to judge on open plains like this; and two: it was a city, not a castle.

"Are we there yet?" Naruto asked. He was the only one with energy left. The other two were ready to fall asleep right where they were and had already pulled out bed rolls in preparation.

"We'll get there tomorrow," Haku argued. "Who wants first watch?"

"Naruto does," Sakura replied as she hit the hay. She was asleep before Naruto could let out a protest.

"Goodnight Naruto," Haku said with a smile.

"Fine," Naruto grumbled. He kept himself busy fiddling with the various weapons and gear they had acquired from the bandits they'd been defeating along the way. They had long since swapped out their prison rags for alternative gear in the local style, but Naruto still missed his orange jumpsuit. Hell, he missed a lot of things and even with his excitement, but most of all, he missed his old friends. He didn't even know where they were and it scared him to not be able to see Iruka or the Old Man again. They were important to him in many ways. He even missed Kakashi, although Naruto still figured that he was coming to the rescue, but got lost on the road of life after a black cat crossed his path, forcing him to take a massive detour, before an old lady was trying to get across the street, only to find out that she was a dangerous missing-nin who wanted Kakashi's head, so they had to fight, but after the battle was finally done, Kakashi learned that a new issue of Icha Icha was being released, so he figured that he might as well pick one up on the way and that Kakashi would show up right in the nick of time. Hopefully Kakashi was just late.

Listening to the sounds of the wilderness, Naruto took some time to think about his team. Sasuke hadn't wasted any time in ditching the rest of them. Naruto thought they were friends, or at least starting to get there and the betrayal was hurting him more than the boy would outwardly admit. It was a sign that the Uchiha didn't respect him at all. That Sasuke still saw Naruto as the dunce of the Academy after everything that had happened worried the dandelion headed boy. Naruto knew he had changed and was annoyed that he didn't get the praise of his skills that everyone else had. It hurt, but at least he wasn't in this alone.

Even Naruto was able to recognize that Sakura was just throwing herself into this quest to keep her mind off their problems. Unlike he and Sasuke, Sakura actually had family to miss, something that Naruto was secretly envious of even after all this time. She had someone to go home to while Naruto went home to an empty apartment. Sure Naruto bumped elbows with the Hokage, but even then most of their contact was on the professional level aside from the occasional bowl of ramen. Mmmm...ramen. The one thing Naruto wanted more than a nice steaming bowl of ramen was for someone to be there when he came home; for someone to say: "How was your day?"

Naruto noted that Haku seemed to be the best off, probably because he had total faith in Zabuza. Naruto could tell that the girlish boy believed fully in Zabuza's power and knew without a doubt that the swordsman would be there for him. Zabuza in Haku's eyes was something between a father figure and a deity. Having seen Zabuza's power, Naruto could understand that feeling.

Naruto's thoughts along this line were cut off as he witnessed an unnatural glow to the mountain city. It was on fire. He snapped into action, shaking his companions awake.

"Wake up, wake up!" he said yelled.

"NA-RU-TO!" Sakura growled, her bags heavy under her eyes. She just pushed up from her sleeping position to glare at the blond boy. "Why did you-"

"The city's on fire!" Naruto yelled. Instantly the two shot up to their feet. Naruto instantly made some clones to pick up the gear. He started running off towards the burning town, only for Haku to grab his arm.

"What are you doing?" the brown haired boy asked.

"I'm going to save them!" Naruto replied, ripping his arm from the other boy's grip. Having an idea, he concentrated, transforming several of his clones into horses with saddle bags. Several of the other clones loaded up the gear while the original Naruto took off full tilt. Looking after him, Sakura grumbled, rubbed her eyes.

"Damn fool," she muttered under her breath a moment before she took to the trees after them.

Haku glanced at the clone packhorses to his vanishing companions. After one moment of indecision, the older boy threw his hands up in the air. "Sure, why the hell not?"

* * *

The three of them started flying through the trees, leaping from branch to branch, the clone horses following behind at a good pace. Sakura managed to get up closer to Naruto.

"I hope you have a plan," she commented.

"Yeah, save the people," he replied.

"That's not a plan!" Sakura yelled at the blond's vanishing back. She huffed once more and started after him. As they got closer, they noticed a horrific ring of fire that seemed to stand up like a mirror of stone and flames. It was large enough that it could be seen over the walls of the city.

"We don't know what we're getting into," Haku put in as he caught up with the others. "It'll take us hours to get there, Naruto. You need to know that you could be too late."

"Then we save who we can," Naruto decided. Glanced down to the left. "Hey, there's a road!"

They zipped as fast as they could, leaping down and running towards the burning city. The scenery seemed to blur as they passed and not long the road branched to the right, heading up around the sharp mountainside. They didn't get very far before they met a person running toward them. He was an elf, blond hair, golden skin and he looked positively terrified.

"Run! Run for your lives!" the elf yelled.

"We saw the fire from the woods," Naruto.

"Daedra! They came in the night! Everything's gone," the high elf screamed

"What happened?" Haku put in. "And what's a daedra?"

"It was Savlian Matius... some of the other guards... helped some of us escape... they cut their way out, right through the city gates," the elf sobbed before running back the way the trio came. He kept talking as he ran off, throwing the words over his shoulder. "Savlian says they can hold the road. No... no, I don't believe him. Nothing can stop them. If you'd seen it, you'd know..."

The three shared a look and started up the mountain road. Not far from that was a group of villagers, refugees really, who had managed to escape. All they had with them were a small group of tents and a few meager supplies. The three ninja asked around and heard about the barricade and the continued assault at the height of the road up.

"Stand back, civilian! This is no place for you. Get back to the encampment at once!" a well armored man called out as he saw the trio approach. The man was older, perhaps late 40s, but built like a warrior and dressed in a full chain suit, minus a helmet.

"What happened?" Sakura asked as she glanced over the wooden barricades and the charred ground.

"We lost the damned city, that's what happened!" he snarled. The man made a vague gesture towards the glowing mirror of flames outside the city gate. "It was too much, too fast. We were overwhelmed. Couldn't even get everyone out. There are still people trapped in there. Some made it into the Chapel, but others were just run down in the streets. The Count and his men are still holed up in the castle. And now we can't even get back into the city to help them, with that damned Oblivion Gate blocking the way."

"How can we help?" Naruto asked quickly.

"You want to help?" Savlian asked incredulously. "You're kidding, right? Hmm... if you're serious, maybe I can put you to use. It'll likely mean your death, though. Are you sure?"

"We'll do it, believe it!" Naruto declared before his companions could register any complaints. Sakura's mouth opened and closed like a fish in silent shock at the idea that Naruto had just offered them up as sacrifices.

"I don't know how to close this Gate, but it must be possible, because the enemy closed the ones they opened during the initial attack," the guard captain said.

"There were _more_?" Sakura asked in a horrified tone.

"Yes, several," an archer told her. "One, much larger than this, taller than the city walls. You can see the marks on the ground where they were, with the Great Gate right in the middle."

The blond boy snapped his fingers and gave a curt little nod. "That's the one I saw from the camp," Naruto exclaimed. He turned to the Captain. "What next?"

"I sent men into the Gate, to see if they could find a way to shut it," Savlian Matius replied, pointing to the massive maelstrom of fire and smoke. Its very presence tainted the sky, casting the world into a red haze of horror, fire and screams. The guards flinched at the sight of the thing. "They haven't come back. If you can get in there, find out what happened to them. If they're alive, help them finish the job. If not, see what you can do on your own. The best I can say is, good luck. If you make it back alive, we'll be waiting for you."

"We'll do it!" Naruto said with a thumbs up.

"NARUTO!" Sakura bellowed. "We don't even know if someone can live in that kind of place!"

"Actually, if those creatures can live in this world, it stands to reason that we can live in there, at least for a short time," Haku replied. "If need be I can use my ice to counteract the flames. It drains Chakra, but they won't melt."

"I wish I knew how to make soldier pills," Sakura muttered under her breath. As they were debating, they suddenly realized that Naruto was already inside. A small scream slipped from her lips as she feared losing the last link to her old life. But she relaxed a moment later when the blond boy poked his head out.

"It's okay, hot with really weird plants, but it's cool!" Naruto said.

Merandil, the elven archer, leaned over to his fellow guard and whispered. "How can something be both hot and cool at the same time?"

"I think it's a linguistic euphemism, 'cool' as a substitute for a similar adjective relating to how intriguing the object appears to be," Jesan Rilian hypothesized.

"Well, that does shed some light on the statement," Merandil replied. "It would be most interesting to explore the linguistic drift between our two cultures."

"Indeed," replied Jesan.

"Pay attention you two! There's more of them!" Savlian cried out as he charged the two small, fire chucking creatures. Haku tossed a couple of lockpicks as senbon and killed them both. Turning back to the Kvatch guards, he gave their barricade an incredulous look.

"Um, why are you using wood as a barricade against things that can throw fire?" he asked.

There was a brief moment of silence as the guards processed the statement.

"You know, we're usually not this stupid," one of them said.

"In our defense, we have been under more than a little stress," commented a second.

"I think I'm going to build another from rock," suggested a third.

"Right," Haku said. "You do that. I'm going to go help my companions so they don't get themselves killed."

And with that, Haku chased after Naruto and Sakura and leapt into the Oblivion Gate. The instant Savlian saw them vanish from sight he clapped his hands together.

"Alright, let's build that barricade!"

* * *

**Next Time:** Jumping into a Burning Ring of Fire


	4. Jumping into a Burning Ring of fire

.

**Naruto's Oblivion**

By DireSquirrel

Chapter Four

_Jumping Into a Burning Ring of Fire_

.

* * *

Haku was alarmed by the wave of heat he felt as he approached the Gate. This was hot like Suna, a desert heat: hot, dry, burning; nothing like the wet warm summers of Water Country that he remembered as a child, or the humid mild summers of Wave. It was as if someone started a fire on the hottest day of the year. Utilizing his bloodline, Haku added some frozen insulation to his fur boots, greaves and iron breastplate. He was especially worried about the effects of heat on his metal armor, but it was something that could be easily ditched if needed.

Haku dove in only to find Naruto already fighting some of the same furry fire-throwing monkeys they saw before. It was rather one sided, considering there were twenty Narutos and only three furry fire-monkeys. They were quickly punched to death. Haku did have to give his new friend some props; the boy's taijutsu was atrocious, his genjutsu non-existent, but he never gave up. Of course, always having superior numbers usually helped with self confidence issues. It might be time for the three of them to share a few techniques, something that normally Haku wouldn't even consider doing, but it was clear that they needed to work together if they were going to live long enough, especially if they were traveling in worlds like this one.

Sakura burst forward and threw a dagger like a kunai into the eye of this strange lizard thing. It was built a little like a giant chicken with scales and a bone shield protecting its neck. Sakura didn't freeze this time, something that she was immensely proud of. Instead she burst into action. There was none of the oppressive killing intent that she had felt against Zabuza and while she was scared, for some reason, she felt that she could do this. She spun, tossing a few more daggers after the first, catching the lizard-chicken thing in the neck and nose. It kept coming, even when it was this close to death, it was like the creature had no fear. Sakura spun, kicking the lizard-chicken in the beak. There was a sharp snap as it's already wounded neck twisted to the side from the force of the blow and fell down still.

She gasped for breath as she stood above her first real kill. For some reason, her reluctance at killing from before didn't seem to carry over to such alien creatures. She could kill something like this, but she, and Naruto, couldn't bear to exterminate the bandits they had encountered lately. For these creatures, it was easy to just lay into them.

She kicked the creature with a toe, only to realize it was carrying a few coins in its beak.

"Why the hell is this thing carrying money?" she asked aloud, as she picked them up. Glancing at her companions, they shrugged, she glanced at the money, she shrugged and then she tucked it into her belt pouch.

"We need to find an armorer and weaponsmith sometime soon," Haku commented. "Lockpicks and daggers just aren't good substitutes for senbon and kunai."

"You're telling me," Sakura agreed. They started walking down the path from whence the furry fire-monkeys came and soon spotted a man in a guards' armor fighting some more of the creatures. Sakura tossed a couple of daggers at the creature, while Naruto charged forward, tacking the little demon to the ground. A quick twist, and the thing's neck gave a satisfying snap.

"You-you save my life," said the man. "I'll never forget it."

"What are you doing here?" Haku asked.

"The Captain sent us in the hopes that we could close the portal," Ilend Vonius replied. "I'm the only one left as far as I know, we got separated."

"Eee," squeeked Sakura, thinking of that happening to them. Naruto pointed towards the still open portal.

"Head on back, the old guard's still holding things down," he told the guard.

"The Captain still keeps fighting?" the man said, suddenly more chipper. "Then I'll go help him. I'll never forget how you three saved my life."

They watched him charge up the hill and through the portal. The ninjas looked at the forbidding tower in the middle of the island and decided that was as good a place as any to start.

"I suppose the direct route is the best one," Haku said. Activating his bloodline, he sent his chakra outward and the other two watched in amazement as the ice formed on the surface of the lava, the sudden cold solidifying the molten rock as Haku's Chakra kept the ice itself from melting.

"THAT WAS _AWESOME_!" Naruto yelled, attracting the attention of all daedra in hearing range. Seeing them converge, Sakura just glared at her teammate.

"**WHY CAN'T YOU LEARN TO BE QUIET?**" she bellowed at an even louder volume. Daedra looked up in surprise from where they were torturing others, and heard her bellow echo among the spires.

* * *

Three hours, forty-seven point eight-seven minutes later, the horde of Oblivion denizens were defeated, the three ninja were breathing heavy and practically collapsed to catch their breath. Haku, being the only one with good skills in medicinal herbs and the like started to notice the strange properties of the vegetation in this realm.

"Hey, Naruto," Haku said from the ground.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think you could make a few clones to collect as much of this stuff as you can?" he asked his new friend. Naruto pondered it, shrugged and decided he could. Making a few hundred, they searched the island as the original and his friends relaxed. Soon one came back.

"Hey, I didn't find too many plants, but there was this big orb in one tower and a guy in a cage in the next one," the clone said. "I brought 'em both."

"Huh?" asked the three. A moment later, the world began to shake and the mortals were forced back to Tamriel through rings of fire. The clones looked around in confusion to find themselves back in the mountain city.

Naruto looked to Sakura, who looked at Haku, who looked at the naked guy the clones had dragged along. He just shrugged.

"I told the guy to take the Sigil Stone," the man said. "Then he broke my cage and dragged me along with him and I'm alive! I'm alive!" He started cackling madly and danced around, waving to the other guards. "I'M ALIVE!"

A cheer went up among the guards and clones, who promptly dispersed from the shear force of them clapping each other on the back, dropping their alchemical ingredients and other various collected goods to the ground. Haku panicked and started gathering them up again, carefully sorting them into the various pouches he kept along his belt.

The guards ran over to the exhausted trio with excited grins.

"You closed the Gate? I knew you could do it!" Savlian exclaimed willfully ignoring the fact that he had believed nothing of the sort a few hours before. "This is our chance to launch a counterattack! I need you to come with us. You've got far more combat experience than these men. Are you able to join us now? I can wait, but not for long. We've got to move quickly, before they have a chance to barricade the city gate."

Naruto looked at his two friends. Sakura was almost asleep from the battle and lack of sleep from the night before. Haku was collecting his samples, but was almost dead on his feet. The blond boy looked at the guards' excited faces and sighed. He made a familiar cross shaped seal and a hundred shadow clones appeared.

"Tell me if you need more," he said before he too fell asleep right on the warm, charred ground. None of them even registered the sun coming up with the clear sky on the horizon. Had they been more aware, they would have been witness to a beautiful sunrise.

* * *

When the Heroes of Kvatch awoke (not that they were aware that they were the Heroes of Kvatch, they weren't even remotely aware of where they were), they realized that the clones had brought back much more than just plant samples like Haku had intended. Instead they found 43 partial humanoid skeletons from infant to old age; 13 charred bodies brought back for burial; 345 clanfear eggs (73 of which were ready to hatch); 23 various daedric weapons; 12 daedric shields. 5 daedroth teeth; 3 scamp skins; 2 clanfear claws; 478 gold pieces; 23 silver pieces (which was very strange since the Empire hadn't used silver as currency in the last two eras); 2 baby daedra of a humanoid form; and 4 deer that seem to have gotten inside and hadn't died. No one had an explanation for the last find, but they were semi tame after being fed. Naruto's clones let them go in ruins of Kvatch.

When at last the clones dispersed, the knowledge of what had happened went flooding back into the blond boy. He sat up straight as the memories came flooding into his brain. For some reason, he remembered going into a temple of some kind and then leaving to fight more of those daedra thingies. Naruto also recalled having a conversation with some Imperial Guards who saw the flames from the road and how Haku lead them in the assault to free the city. That part must have been a dream, because Haku was asleep right next to him. He also remembered a nice man in dark gray robes talking about how Oblivion Gates shouldn't be possible. Naruto knew that wasn't normal, because he certainly did remember finding the Count of Kvatch dead or earning them each a set of enchanted Kvatch chainmail, but he knew he'd been passed out the entire time. It was pretty stylish, though, even if it wasn't orange, but the strength and endurance they granted more than made up for the lack of orange.

Naruto squinted as he looked at the clear sky. The blackened rock had heated in the sun was was quite warm, though the smell of smoke and sulfur still permeated the air. While the fires were mostly put out, there were still trails of smoldering smoke wafting into the sky.

It was just then that Naruto's other clones that he had turned into pack horses arrived. They too were exhausted and dispersed, dumping their collected gear all over the ground.

"We really need to fine a place to store all that stuff," he said before falling back asleep.

"I need a bath," Sakura grumbled as she sat up. She glanced up at a greenskinned woman in a pretty dress. "Morning," she said with a sleep addled mind. Then she realized that she was in a tent on a bed.

"Good morning," the orcish woman said with a bright smile. "Thanks for saving our city, we're really grateful."

"um...You're welcome?" Sakura replied, not really sure of what just happened. "Uh, where are we? I don't mean to be rude, but I don't know who you are and the last time I woke up in a strange place I was in another country and in prison for something I don't remember doing."

"O-okay...? Um, I'm Batul gra-Sharob, the last armorer and weaponsmith of Kvatch," she replied with a nervous wave.

"Oh, that's nice," Sakura replied. "What's Kvatch and where are we?"

The woman paused a moment as she processed the statement.

"Kvatch is the city you saved the other day, and you're in my tent because a girl shouldn't sleep on the hard ground like that," Batul replied.

"Oh, thanks," the pink haired girl replied humbly.

**"We totally ROCK!"** said inner Sakura, flashing a V for Victory.

"Um, where are my friends?" Sakura continued as if her innerself hadn't said anything.

"The blond boy is helping us rebuild a few structures and the brown haired girl is sleeping in Oleta's tent."

Sakura paused for a moment.

"OH! You're talking about _Haku_," Sakura said.

"Yes, that's what Naruto said her name was," Batul replied. "So...I was wondering, what are you going to do with all that armor and extra weapons?"

"Naruto and Haku were talking about selling them in some city, but those two idiots had the map upside down," Sakura replied. "We were supposed to be in Chorrol."

"Map? You're not from around here, are you?"

"No, not even slightly," Sakura replied.

"So, getting back to weapons and armor," Batul said. "I could buy them off you. I can't pay as much as those other armorers in the cities, but it would prevent you having to haul them around."

"That would be great," Sakura said. "I think they want to keep a few pieces and they're looking for a few special items. Have you ever heard of kunai?"

"No, where is it?"

"uh, it's a kind of weapon, not a place," Sakura replied. She went on to describe the kind of clothes and armor she and the others were looking for. "But nothing orange."

"Orange? Why not?"

"Naruto's obsessed with it," Sakura replied. "Sometimes I think he worships it like a god. Actually, I think he does worship Ramen as a god, but I'm not sure about Orange."

"Fair enough," Batul agreed. "If you show me a few, I'll try and make a few of those shuriken and kunai. Just a trial run. You'll have to let tell me how they work."

"Thanks, I'll draw some diagrams. That'd be great," Sakura said with a smile as the woman ducked to walk out the door. Sakura waited a little while before divesting herself of her clothing. Someone, she was guessing Batul, had stripped her of her old, smelly clothes and given the girl a nice white shift to sleep in. Even so, she was disgustingly dirty. Using a pale of water, she carefully cleaned herself with a cloth. Even if there wasn't any soap, the simple act seemed to peel away layers of grime to reveal pale skin. And that was when Naruto opened the tent flap.

"Hey, Sakura, I heard you were awa-urk?" his mind shut down as he stared at the horrified naked girl. Then normalcy returned as Naruto became acquainted with Sakura's fist once more.

KA-POW!

Naruto flew backwards, rolling out the tent flap and kept on going, bouncing off a barrel and flew into the side of the chapel with a sharp smack. He slid down the stone building, leaving two red streaks from his nose.

The guards ran over to help him and treat his wounds, but he just grinned and gave them a thumbs up. "I'm good."

Berich Inian clasped his hand and helped the boy to his feet.

"You're stronger than five men, I expect," the older man.

"I've gotta be if I'm gonna be Hokage," the boy replied with a fox like grin.

"You've mentioned that before, what is a Hokage?" Berich asked.

"He's the leader of my village back home, and the greatest ninja around," Naruto replied. "Everybody respects the Hokage."

"That is quite an ambition," the Kvatch Guard replied. "Must be like being a Count."

"Yup! And I'm gonna be Hokage some day, believe it!" the boy declared. Berich Inian gave the boy a kind smile. The old guard didn't doubt that the boy could one day attain that rank. He was about to say something more when an irate (but now clothed) Sakura Haruno stomped out of the tent.

"Sorry, Sakura, it was an accident! Honest," Naruto said. The pink haired girl pulled the blond boy away to have a private conversation. Berich Inian couldn't help but laugh.

"The boy jumps head first into Oblivion, but he's afraid of that little slip of a girl," Merandil chuckled from beside his colleague.

"Wouldn't you be?" Lenka Valus asked. "I'd think twice before pissing off any of them. Did you hear what Ilend said?"

"No, what?"

"He said the brown haired girl froze the lava waters of oblivion to make a bridge," Lenka replied. "Anyone who can do _that_, we shouldn't be messing with."

"They did do what no one else could," Merandil replied. "For that I'm grateful."

"Too true," Berich agreed.

"NA-RU-TO!" Sakura growled.

"I'm sorry! The green woman told me it was okay to see you 'cuz you were up, so I just walked in, I didn't mean to peep, 'cuz I'm not a pervert," Naruto babbled.

"Next time knock or call out first," she grumbled, but she didn't hit him again. "Now, we're in Kvatch, where is that on the map?"

"Oh, that's what this place is called?" Naruto asked as he rummaged through his pouches for the map. Pulling it out triumphantly, he displayed it for her upside down, as was his usual method of reading the map, which is why they ended up in Kvatch instead of Chorrol. Although, logic would suggest that they would have ended up in this Bravil place instead of Kvatch, but Naruto had never displayed much talent for orienteering skills. "Okay, so we need to go south into the mountains!"

Sakura almost gave him a whack, but snatched the map out of his hands, turned it upside down and handed it back. She took a bit of charcoal and marked "north" above Bruma.

"Oh, we need to go north into the mountains," Naruto said. "Well, north and west kinda. It looks like there's a trail that goes right there through the mountains!"

"Where?" Sakura asked as she checked out the map. "That little line? Are you sure that's a trail? It looks like it goes right through the Imperial Reserve."

"Well, yeah, it seems like it would be easier than going almost all the way back to the Imperial City," Naruto suggested.

"We'll talk to Haku and see what he thinks," Sakura agreed. She knew Haku was going to side with Naruto, and she knew that it was a good idea, but she just wasn't about to admit Naruto was right. Not yet, at least. "I'm going to take the map around and ask for landmarks. They really need topography lines on this thing."

"Can't ya just draw 'em in?" Naruto suggested. Sakura glare at him for a second.

"You say that like it's so obvious," Sakura growled.

**'And we should have thought of that ourselves,' **Inner Sakura moped.

"Well, we can't do that until we know how high above sea level we are, then we can deal with this," Sakura muttered to herself. "Of course, we could just measure down from this height, but that could cause problems later on. Although if we just go with lines as increments of height and not worry about the total, we can still work this. Perhaps a contour of twenty going down from this height."

She glanced up at Naruto who had swirls in his eyes from confusion. Then a thought occurred to him.

'Hmmm...I might have just figured out how to keep Sakura from hitting me! I just have to distract her!' Naruto thought. Unfortunately for Naruto, it would take him some time to discover exactly which were safe topics to use for said distraction.

"Wait, so you've studied these things before?" Haku asked the priest of Akatosh.

"Yes, though that was many years ago, before I joined the priesthood," Brother Martin replied. "I...I admit that I dabbled in such things, but all my research tells me that this should be impossible."

"So, either the previous paradigm was incorrect, or something has changed," Haku hypothesized.

"Although I don't know what it could be," Martin replied.

"What about the Emperor's death?" suggested one of the unnamed Imperial Legion Soldiers.

"Wait, he's dead? No, we saved him! We got him out of the city!" Haku exclaimed.

"From what I heard, the Blades brought him back and placed him in the Imperial Crypt," the soldier said. Several of them arrived in the night to help with the daedra and stayed to keep watch thereafter.

"He must have died after we split up," Haku mused.

"When did you meet the Emperor?" the soldier demanded in disbelief.

"His escape route went through the prison," Haku replied. "The three of us helped the Blades escort him out. He was fine – old and tired, but alive – when I last saw him."

"Humph! The Emperor and his three sons dead!" the soldier grumbled. "We're a Legion without a leader. Mark my words, Citizen, it's going to get worse before it gets better."

"How can it?" asked one of the villagers.

"These gates start popping up all over the place," Haku suggested. "The countless bandits we see in the wilderness team up to form raiding parties against the towns and villages, taking advantage of the weakened infrastructure. Hell, scamps unionizing."

"It was supposed to be a rhetorical question," the villager grumbled. "I didn't really want an answer."

Haku just shrugged innocently.

"Have we found any more survivors?" he asked, changing the topic.

"Two more in a cellar, mother and daughter...we found _part_ of the father," the soldier replied somberly. Haku suppressed a shudder. While Zabuza had been violent, and an unrepentant killer, he never ate his victims. The thought of doing so made Haku heave. While the daedra weren't the same as mer or man, some were still of humanoid shape and the practice horrified the young ninja. He glanced at the priest and saw the same haunted look.

"What happens next?" Haku asked.

"We keep searching," Martin answered instantly. "It's only been a day. The fires came later, and smoke rises, so there may be more. Then tomorrow, or the day after, we start clearing the rubble."

"A shame you don't have search dogs," Haku commented.

"Search dogs?"

The boy tapped his nose. "Better sense of smell. There have been cases of dogs finding people weeks after an earthquake."

"Would hunting dogs work? There are often a few on farms and used by Legion woodsmen," the soldier commented.

"I suppose, if they can track a scent," Haku somewhat agreed. The imperial Legion Soldier stood up and set his drinking mug on the counter of the makeshift bar. They didn't serve anything but bread and water at this point, but it was better than nothing.

"I'll be back," the soldier replied. "I'll go find a few and hope they'll work."

After the soldier left, Haku turned to the others. "Does he really think it'll be that easy?"

The other survivors just shrugged.

* * *

After spending a few days helping clear the rubble (hunting dogs did arrive on the second day and three more people were found alive, most of fourteen dead), the Three Heroes of Kvatch had to take their leave, this time heading north as they finally had the map aligned in the proper manner.

"Why don't we take the roads?" Naruto asked as they meandered through the woods of Colovia.

"It's a straighter shot if we go through the woods, and the trails through here will be faster," Haku replied. He thought for a second. "...and because of Zabuza, I tend to avoid the main routes. It's a survival thing."

Sakura and Naruto shrugged. Neither having had to live with a missing-nin, they decided to take his word on it.

"So where are we now?" Naruto asked as they approached a shrine in the forest.

"I'm not sure, it's not anything that's been added to the map, that's for sure," Sakura replied. She had spent quite a bit of time seeking people out, especially the Imperial Legion Soldiers to ask for landmarks for the map. What she had developed was an obscure series of lines and boxes representing elevation and landmarks. She's adapted the local symbols and had added on as many as possible. "I could hypothesize-"

"Or we can just ask them," Haku pointed out.

It should be noted that Haku was quickly becoming the practical member of their team. Walking over, Haku waved to the gathering.

"Ho there," he said.

"Hello, what brings you to the alter of Kynerath?" an old woman inquired. Sakura started a conversation on their location and got an earful on the 9 Divines, especially the patron deity of nature. After a while she had sunk into smile and nod territory. Haku decided to take some time and pick some more herbs and food from the forest which left Naruto the odd man out. And Naruto when bored tended to be a bad thing. By the time Sakura and the priestess were done their discussion, Kynereth's statue was painted to look like a poorly dressed transvestite (as opposed to Haku's perfectly precise transvestite appearance). Needless to say, the trio was forcefully escorted out of the glade.

"Why'd you do that? That's something they believe in, something they respect," Sakura demanded.

"I was bored," Naruto replied. "It's always happened like this. Nobody cares about about me, so I have to keep myself occupied. Serves them right for ignoring me."

"And by acting out, it guarantees that they will pay attention to you," Haku surmised.

"Yup!" Naruto confirmed. "One time I painted the Hokage monument, too!"

"That was _you_?" Sakura demanded in a shocked and awed tone.

"Yeah, I do good work!" Naruto replied proudly.

"How can you be so disrespectful?" Sakura demanded. It occurred to Naruto at that moment that Sakura demands things pretty frequently.

"Sounds like an eye for an eye to me," Haku analyzed. His companions looked back, clearly confused. He sighed and explained. "People are disrespectful to Naruto, so he's disrespectful to them. He's also nice to people who are nice to him."

Sakura let the ideas sink in for a moment before turning to Naruto, only to find him gone.

"Oh no, where'd he go this time?" the pink haired girl moaned.

* * *

Naruto had discovered a giant hollow tree log. It had fallen down the hill at some time in the past, creating a small cavern of wood. The most unpredictable ninja crawled inside only to find some rather interesting things.

"Holy crap! Bear cubs and human skeletons!" he exclaimed, seeing the adult sized skeleton in front of him. Rifling through the tattered remnants of the skeleton's clothes, he managed to find two rubies and 14 gold pieces as well as a rusty dagger and some bonemeal. He pocketed the bonemeal, ruby and gold, tucked a Kodiac bear cub under one arm and ran out the hollow tree. Soon enough he spotted his friends and ran over.

"Where have you been?" Sakura demanded. The blond boy presented his furry trophy.

"Look what I found!"

The bear cub mewled cutely and squirmed in the boy's arms. Sakura quickly pulled the cuddly guy into a hug and started petting him. Haku, the only one of the three with real experience with living off the land, became rather worried.

"Naruto, where'd you find that cub?"

Naruto pointed over his shoulder at the hollow tree. "The bear den in the tree. There was a skeleton of a person, too!"

Haku pinched the bridge of his nose and scrunched his eyes shut as he processed the statement.

"So basically what you're saying is that you stole a baby bear from its mother's home and because of what you found, we know for a fact that it will eat, _and has eaten_, humans?" Haku summed up.

"If you say so," Naruto agreed, not completely understanding the logic.

It was then that Sakura felt hot stinking bear breath on her neck. She stiffened in fear, turned around very slowly and looked down the throat of the biggest bear any of them had ever had the misfortune to observe.

"Sakura," Haku said quietly in a falsely calm voice. "I think that might be momma."

At this point, Sakura wasn't really thinking logically. Instead, she was going through a moment decided if fight or flight was a better solution. Flight won.

Forgetting to drop the cub, Sakura took to the trees, heading vaguely north by northwest. She leapt from branch to branch, moving at speeds she wasn't even aware that she could manage. She didn't realize that she was still holding baby bear in her arms; she didn't realize that Momma Bear was keeping time with her due to momma's massive strides or that Naruto and Haku were struggling to keep up with her speed, running behind both her and the bears. As the two lagged behind, they attracted the attention of a small pack of timber wolves. The six timber wolves encouraged the two boys to run faster, but not faster than Momma Bear, as that would put them in a different sort of danger. Soon Sakura ran right through a bandit camp, attracting the attention of a Dark Elf and two Redguards. They started chasing Sakura and only afterward realized they had placed themselves between the pink haired girl and a nasty Momma Bear the size of a medium-small mammoth. Said Momma Bear kept chasing them, so the three bandits found themselves trapped. Running along, Sakura passed by three forts, two mines, several caves and a few Aylied ruins. Needless to say, she didn't have enough time to write them down on her map.

Night turned into day and the bizarre entourage kept running. Soon, however, Sakura saw safety in a castle with the gate open. She charged inside, ran up the wall of the castle and jumped across the roof. Finding a trap door, Sakura jumped inside and cowered.

Momma Bear, for all her power, could not climb walls, so with the loss of her cub, got rather angry. Luckily for her, there were plenty of bandits and marauders to take her anger out on. The knights and guards who had been defending the castle, backed up, letting Momma Bear do her thing. Haku and Naruto, still being chased by the wolves, ran inside the castle gate, slapped the trigger on the portcullis, and ran up the walls of the castle just in case.

The Marauder Leader, the only one dressed in steel armor, hacked at Momma Bear with her steel battleaxe, but the hacked off Momma Bear knocked it away and gave the Imperial a good whack with a paw, sending the woman up the stairs to the battlements and out of the immediate battle. The remaining five bandits and marauders found themselves trapped between Momma Bear and six hungry timber wolves in the courtyard of Battlehorn Castle. Normally enemies, the two unlawful groups turned back to back, weapons out in preparation the attack that was about to take place. It was horrific. The carnage was such that even Haku, who had grown up as the adopted child of the Demon of the Bloody Mist, had to look away.

Never one to hesitate or even think before he leapt, Naruto walked down the wall, hitting the crank to pull up the portcullis, allowing the animals an avenue of escape. The wolves, already injured and exhausted by the chase and subsequent battle, backed out the castle gate and ran away. Momma Bear was still upset that her baby hadn't been returned and proceeded to sniff at where Sakura had run up the castle wall.

"Maybe we'll just stay up here for a little while," suggested the head of the guards. The others nodded in agreement.

After a moment, Momma Bear turned and left the courtyard and the assembled people let loose a sigh of relief. Haku let the portcullis down again and the guards walked down the stairs to look at the damage.

Relaxing for a moment, Naruto noticed the Marauder Leader standing next to him. The Imperial woman looked at him, and he looked at the Imperial woman. After one more tense moment, Naruto let loose with a right cross, knocking the larger and armored woman out cold. The marauder keeled over, clanging, clinking and bouncing as she rolled down the stone staircase. Soon a guard appeared at Naruto's side.

"This is for you, sir," the guard said, handing the boy a letter. Naruto opened it up, gawked for a moment before grinning.

"Hey Haku!"

"What? Have you found Sakura?"

"No," Naruto said, holding up the letter. "But guess who owns the castle now? I'll give you a hint, he's got two thumbs and he likes orange." Pointing at himself with both thumbs he grinned widely. "THIS GUY!"

Haku just let loose with a facepalm of shame and embarrassment. After sighing, the brown haired boy shook his head. "Let's just go find Sakura."

* * *

**Next Time**: Da Loid uh da Manor!


	5. Da Loid uh da Castle

.

**Naruto's Oblivion**

by DireSquirrel

Chapter Five

_Da Loid uh da Manor_

.

* * *

Battlehorn Castle

The internment of Lord Kelvyn was a grand affair with everyone of the Battlehorn Castle Guard present to see their previous lord consumed on a pyre. There were tears and speeches, most of which the new Lord of the Castle didn't really understand, but what can you expect from a 12 year old kid? The others worked hard to help sort everything out, but Naruto and Haku were more worried about what happened to Sakura and the bear cub. This last part was especially worrying because Momma Bear had taken up residence in a local cavern. It took some time before the two boys found a secret latch on the roof.

With his superior strength, Naruto used several clones together to force the trapdoor off its hinges, revealing a small compartment with a sleeping Sakura inside, the bear cub still clutched in her arms. Grinning, Naruto pulled her up bridal style and passed her to a clone. Then he passed up the cub to Haku. Climbing up the ladder he realized that it was a rather hard place for a non-wall crawling ninja to reach.

It wasn't until they got half way down the wall that they realized a certain furry individual was glaring back up at them. Naruto and Haku shared a look and started walking along the battlements, keeping a nervous eye on Momma Bear. Carefully placing Baby Bear outside the portcullis, they hit the switch, preventing the irate mother from taking revenge. Their breath caught as Momma Bear tried clawing them through the grate, but quickly broke off the attack, deciding she didn't have the reach. Watching her turn away, the two boys let loose the breath they'd been holding and slumped to the ground.

One Knight of the True Horn turned to the other and shrugged.

"Well, at least this Lord won't be boring."

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha bought a room at the Inn of Ill Omen. It was an interesting proposition that Lucian Lachance had brought before him. Power. And in the price for this power was the life of a single man. An old man, at that. The dagger was simple, a curved blade that was barely better than an academy kunai, but it represented so much more. The Blade of Woe, Lachance had called it. To Sasuke it represented so much more.

"So what brings you to this lonely inn, boy?" the visiting Imperial Legion Soldier asked. There was something about the boy's face that was familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. The older man shrugged the thought away and smiled.

"A stop between training, sir," Sasuke replied, putting on the mask he once wore for the Academy instructors.

"Ah, trying to better yourself, always a noble goal," the armored man said with a smile.

"Thank you sir," Sasuke replied with a fake smile. He was lucky the soldier had imbibed a few tankards of ale, because a smile on Sasuke's face seemed unnatural. The soldier clapped him on the shoulder.

"Good luck, son," the lawman said as he stood up, lurching slightly. "Well, duty calls."

Sasuke nodded diligently and watched the man go. His eyes turned to glance at the worried man in the corner of the inn's dining room. He was old, troubled. Sasuke had seen others like him in Konoha, most often in old ninja who had either lost a limb or just seen too much. It was a look that always made the boy sneer, inside at least, even if he never showed the world. That troubled look was nothing like witnessing your brother kill your parents. Nothing to wandering though the dead bodies of your entire clan and waiting for hours before ANBU showed up. Others' pain was nothing compared to his own, or at least that is what the boy believed. Safe in his self-delusion, Sasuke reached into his pocket and felt the Blade of Woe. He caressed the weapon like a sane man would a lover or a spouse.

He glanced at the grandfather clock in the corner as the seconds turned into minutes and the minutes turned into hours. When the clock struck eleven, the old man stood up and walked to the stairs. Sasuke turned his head to watch the man go. He was so intent on his target that the boy didn't even notice the gasp of horror as the barmaid saw his eyes turn red and start to spin. Sasuke watched every movement his target made, his eyes memorizing the motion and mannerisms of the target. When the man finally vanished from sight, Sasuke settled back down and ate his meat and potatoes.

The Genin waited an hour before heading to bed. The barmaid was asleep in the back room and Sasuke had heard the old man slump onto his bed and the creak of the wood as he settled down. Walking up the stairs, Sasuke felt the Blade in his hidden pouch, only unsheathing it when he made it to the door. The old fool hadn't even locked the door. It swung open without a sound and Sasuke was careful to step away from the middle of the floor, preventing the boards underneath his feet from causing any excessive noise.

He stood over the old man who seemed so settled in sleep, his breathing pattern deep and even. In one single motion, Sasuke covered the man's mouth and nose with one hand and slashed the man's throat with the other. With a smirk of amusement, Sasuke wrapped the body up in the sheets of his own bed and slept until morning.

* * *

The sun was bright and the birds were chirping it was like nothing had occurred to let the inn earn its name. Sasuke woke up and transformed into a copy of the old man. He worked with rare diligence and cleaned every spot of blood he could see. Walking on the walls, he stealthed into the linen room and replaced the sheets. Wrapping the body up in the old sheets, he walked out the front door. Smiling warmly to the barmaid as he hauled his murder victim's body out of the inn, giving her the impression that the man left of his own free will. Traveling a little ways, he found a place called the Pothole cave and tossed the body in. Then he ran back to the inn as fast as he could and slid in the upstairs window to the room he rented. Making plenty of noise, he walked down stairs and ordered a meal. Giving a grunt of a goodbye, he nodded to the barmaid and left the inn. As soon as his back was turned, Sasuke's face curved into a murderer's grin.

The Imperial Legion Soldier road back to his fort in thought, pondering the memory that just seemed to be escape him. It was not until he returned to the fort and saw the new wanted posters from the Imperial City. Gasping in horror, the soldier reported the boy to the appropriate commander and a team went out. By the time they arrived at the Inn of Ill Omen, Sasuke was long gone. All they found was a track leading to the Pothole cave. Stepping inside, the soldiers were instantly assaulted by necromancers. Their duty clear, they dealt with the infestation only to find a fresh zombie with a familiar face that the visiting soldier instantly recognized as Rufio.

Heading back to the Inn, they received the story of the haunting spinning eyes from the barmaid.

Sasuke was already a legendary criminal.

* * *

Battlehorn Castle

Dinner was a simple affair, mostly because there was little more than milk, cabbage and potatoes and a loaf of bread to share with the whole castle. The dining room was made up of three picnic tables and benches with utensils and dishes that were lower quality than those seen in most low class inns. Naruto didn't let that get him down, seeing as he was having a better time than he had in a long time, he only wished that his other friends were there.

"Okay! So, tomorrow we work hard at getting money to fix up my new home!" he announced. Haku looked confused and Sakura was still recovering from her bear induced trauma. The guards and Knights of the True Horn cheered him on, even if they weren't going anywhere.

"What are you talking about?" Haku asked. "We sold all our extra gear in Kvatch."

"No, we didn't," Naruto said, holding up a scroll. "I brought the leftovers here!"

The locals looked on confused.

"You brought a rolled up piece of paper?" one of the Knights replied.

"No, they're in the paper!" Naruto replied.

"Wait, Naruto, how do you know sealing techniques?" Haku asked.

"I copied you," Naruto replied innocently. "Isn't this what you used for your senbon and the kunai that we had made in Kvatch."

"Oh," Haku said. "I only did that once, how exactly did you figure that out so quickly?"

"I made like a hundred clones and practiced sealing them until I got it right," Naruto replied. "It's kinda scary to get sealed."

"You sealed you clones?"

"Yup!"

"Aren't they just chakra?"

"Are they? I dunno, I didn't get to finish the whole scroll," Naruto replied.

"You're scary powerful sometimes," Haku commented in amazement.

One of the guards raised a hand.

"Uh, sir Naruto, Lady Haku, but what are you talking about?"

Haku's forehead ticked a little at the gender mistake. He wasn't even wearing women's clothes!

Naruto wasn't phased and instead drew a little symbol on the table and made his plate vanish. A moment later, he brought it back exactly the way it was before.

"Like that!" Naruto commented with a grin.

"That magic is incredible!" one of the guards exclaimed. "Why, merchants could make a fortune with spells like that!"

"Not to mention warriors in the wilderness," said another. "Amazing, imagine taking out three bandit lairs in one go and just carrying around a piece of paper for all the loot!"

Haku stared at them all for a moment. "I'm guessing you guys don't have sealing techniques here."

All the locals shook their heads, but one slapped Naruto on the back. "But at least we've got a powerful new Lord and his two powerful girlfriends!"

Naruto blushed and scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment.

Sakura snapped out of her funk and slapped the table, cracking the six inch thick planks. "I am _NOT_ his girlfriend!"

Haku's blood vessel on his forehead looked about ready to burst and his eyebrow twitched in a manner implying pain was about to come. "And I'm a _boy_!"

The guards started moving closer together and tried hiding behind Naruto. Unfortunately for them, Naruto was rather small for his age and the result was rather comical.

* * *

Two days later, Naruto, Sakura and Haku were cloud gazing up while relaxing on the roof.

"Hey," Sakura said. The two boys looked at her.

"Yeah?" Naruto asked.

"Weren't we supposed to deliver this amulet somewhere?" Sakura asked, holding up the Amulet of Kings. Haku slapped himself on the forehead.

"I _knew_ we were forgetting something!"

* * *

Weynon Priory was a little monastery; the type of place many would overlook on their way to Chorrol. Little more than a chapel, a small farm and a boarding house, it was not the sort of place one would expect to find the Grandmaster of the Emperor's Blades, but that was, of course, the perfect place to stash such an important individual. With a total population of four, the farm animals outnumbered them three to one. Perhaps one of the best ways to describe it was "quaint."

When the three teens meandered down the Black Road, through Chorrol and down to Weynon Priory, they were momentarily distracted by an old man asking for their help in ridding his farm of attacking creatures. The creatures were revealed to be nomadic goblins seeking a new home and were quickly taken care of by the three ninjas. Haku, who was by far the most responsible of the three, was rewarded with a blade of exquisite craftsmanship. Chillrend, it was called, and it felt perfect in Haku's hand. He resolved to work on his blade skills before they returned to the Elemental Nations, so he could impress Zabuza with his skill. Soon enough, the trio made their way back down the hill to Weynon Priory. It wasn't until they approached the priory that they realized it had been about five weeks since they arrived and had probably kept the Amulet for four. But they were kids, so it made sense that they'd be distracted by side quests.

"Uh, we're looking for somebody named Jauffre?" Naruto called out to the dark elven farmer.

"Ah, well, if he isn't in the chapel, eating or sleeping, he's inside fussing with his books," the man said, pointing over his shoulder to the stone house. The boy nodded thanks with a big grin.

They walked in the building, and the door opened with a heavy creak. Stepping inside, the priory smelled of dried fruit, old paper and flowers. The instant they all stepped in, a tall man with a bald spot and a thick woolen robe got up from his seat to inquire as to their intentions.

"We're here to see Jauffre?" Sakura said hesitantly. "The Emperor sent us."

Prior Maborel clearly didn't know what to make of such a thing. Then, wisely deciding that his sanity would be better off not knowing why these kids were doing work for the Emperor, sent them up the stairs to Jauffre's office.

Jauffre was an old man and while he appeared as a monk, there was something that caught the three ninjas' eyes. They could tell he was a warrior and not just a simple follower of Talos. Even sitting down engrossed in a book, it was obvious to those who had grown up around fighters of great skill. Naruto couldn't help but compare him with the Third Hokage as both had a similar presence of age, wisdom and danger.

"I'm a busy man, so you children had better have a good reason for interrupting me," he grumbled, glancing over the spine of his book a the Three Heroes of Kvatch.

"We brought you the Amulet of Kings," Sakura replied, dangling said amulet on one finger in front of his face.

"That-I demand you tell me how you found such a thing?"

"The Old Guy sent us," Naruto replied with a shrug. Haku pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"He means the Emperor," Haku clarified in an exasperated tone. "We helped him escape the city, but apparently he died after we parted ways."

"Too bad, he was kinda cool for an old guy," Naruto said with a shrug. Jauffre softened slightly, relaxing as he took the Amulet of Kings from the pink haired girl.

"As strange as it sounds, I do believe you now," he said, running a thumb over the bright red crystal. "Only the strange destiny of Uriel Septim could have brought you three to me bearing the Amulet of Kings."

"He was talking about how we had to do something, but we got distracted and he never explained what," Sakura said. "We've already closed one gate, the Sigil Stone in the primary tower is the only way to really close them, but there's only Kvatch so far. Is there something I can read more on this? A scroll, or book?"

"There might be another reason for Kvatch to be the first attack, actually," Jauffre replied. "Many years ago now, Uriel Septim called me to him and presented a baby. He never said anything on the child's origin, but I knew it was his son."

"So, the gates opened because they wanted to kill the Bloodline?" Haku asked worriedly. "Is this because they can sort of see the future?"

"Yes, in part," Jauffre replied, not realizing they were talking about two different types of bloodlines. "However, I feel as if we are missing something, although I do suspect that part of the problem is from the Amulet of Kings."

Naruto droned out the history lesson about the Dragonfires and other esoteric lore of the Elder Scrolls and Oblivion. Bored, he started walking on the walls, beginning out of sight of the three. He walked up and down the walls, along the ceiling and across the floor. It was a strange form of pacing, but the effect was quite obvious as it had been raining quite profusely outside and Naruto hadn't removed his shoes (something he'd become accustom to in this strange land). So Naruto's wandering created mucky tracks along almost every surface.

He had just made his fifth pass when he walked right into the furious form of Prior Maborel. Naruto had the good graces to be embarrassed, but it wasn't enough for the Prior who sent him for a bucket, a brush and some soap. Naruto discovered quite quickly that it was much easier to make muddy ceiling tracks than it was to scrub them out. He was only a third of the way though cleaning even using his Shadow Clones by the time Jauffre and his companions finished their conversation, grumbling all the way. On the other hand, focusing your chakra while kneeling and scrubbing on the ceiling is good practice for Chakra control.

"Are you done?" Haku asked, straining to look up at the frantically scrubbing boy.

"We have to go back to Kvatch," Sakura said. "Maybe they'll have our kunai and shurikens ready by the time we get back there."

"We still need to save enough to buy passage on a ship back home," Haku reminded her.

"We can always raid some of those ruins like a couple of those guys at the Fighter's Guild were saying in Chorrol," Sakura said. "Apparently ransacking and looting tombs is perfectly okay here."

All three were pretty creeped out by that fact.

"Why did you join the Fighter's Guild, anyways?" Haku asked.

"Everybody said it was good pay," Sakura replied with a shrug.

"And they also said 'if you've got the stones for it' too," Haku corrected.

"Is that some kind of sexist comment? What, a girl can't be a fighter?" the pink haired girl demanded. She'd become much more aggressive without Sasuke to longingly gaze at, but of course meeting Zabuza that first time was a bit of a wake up call. At this point, she was probably twice as strong in terms of ability and strength than she was before their ill fortuned trip to Wave.

"That's not what I'm saying at all, it's just that everybody says it's really hard work!"

"So I can't do it?"

Naruto glanced between Haku and Sakura and set down the bucket of dirty soapy water.

"You do know I'm done, so we can go right?" he said, interrupting the verbal battle.

"Fine!" said Sakura.

"Fine!" said Haku.

And with that the three of them walked out of the priory building.

* * *

Prior Maborel stepped out of the sleeping quarters and started walking down the stone stairs, only to slip on a wet step, tumble down the rest of the stairs, only to catch himself on a rug. The rug slid slightly, up ending the bucket of dirty water, which fell right on the Prior's head.

The prior looked up at Jauffre, who was trying not to laugh, and grimaced.

"I can't believe you actually talked me into giving them my horse," the prior grumbled.

Jauffre couldn't hold it anymore and burst into laughter.

* * *

A couple of miles down the Black Road, Naruto glanced at his companions and then at the painted horse that was walking diligently right behind them. Of course, that might have just been because Haku was carrying the pony's oats in his backpack.

"Why do we have a horse?"

"I'm not sure, but that nice guy in the black robes was pretty insistent that we take it," Haku said.

Both glanced at Sakura, who just shrugged as if she didn't have anything to do with it.

"I just talked with the Brother, and he gave me a book on swordsmanship," she admitted. "I don't even know how to hold a sword."

"I got a hammer!" Naruto said proudly wielding the small iron item like it was a gift from the gods. "Not much use without a forge, but I suppose I could hit people with it."

"Fair enough," Haku said.

* * *

This time, the three Heroes of Kvatch took the roads and actually understood where the roads intersected and which way was north. They made their way south, venturing down the Black Road where they only encountered five emaciated wolves and two bandits who couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag with a lit torch. They dropped the bandits trussed up at a crossroads with a sign giving them to the Legion. Turning south along the Red Ring Road, they kept traveling until night fall. The next day they were up at dawn and traveled along the road without incident and stayed at the Wey Inn where they met a nice man who talked about worshiping some deity named Sithis.

As they traveled along, Naruto started noticing the large number of crabs along the inland sea of Lake Rumare on one side, and the wheat fields on the other. It was then that a certain idea began churning inside his mind.

He would bring Ramen to Cyrodiil.

Believe it!

* * *

**Next Time**: Skingrad: 'Tis a Creepy Place


	6. Skingrad: 'tis a creepy place

.

**Naruto's Oblivion**

by DireSquirrel

Chapter Six

_Skingrad: 'Tis a Creepy Place_

* * *

"Wow, it feels like this is taking much longer than the last time we did this," Naruto commented as he fed a bit of hay to Prior Maborel's horse.

"We're not being chased by a giant bear this time," Sakura grumbled before she spun to point at Naruto. "And no picking up of strange animals anymore! That was _your_ fault!"

"I said I was sorry!"

"Wait, guys," Haku said. "Do you see what I see?"

Both of his companions turned to see what looked like a pointy eared baby with wings floating in front of an old abandoned mine.

"According to my research, that should be the Deralik Mine," Sakura reported, having marked the spot on her map. "No, I said that wrong, it's the Derelict Mine."

"I'm not talking about the mine," Haku corrected. "I'm talking about the flying baby that's shooting lightning at that rat."

"And now it's looking right at us," Sakura noted.

Naruto glanced at his companions and then back at the imp.

"There was one shooting fire a couple of days ago," the blond boy reported.

"And you didn't tell us?"

"Uh, no?" Naruto replied with a shrug. "They kinda sting, but they're fairly easy to kill."

"You know, this might be the imp that the alchemist back in Chorrol was talking about," Haku replied.

"Where was there an alchemist in Chorrol?" Sakura asked. "And what is alchemy? Barus mentioned it back in the city ruins."

"At the Mage's Guild," Haku replied. "And it's the art of combining ingredients to create a potion of sorts. I've been doing so for years with medicinal herbs."

"Oh, like what you were collecting back in Wave?" Naruto asked.

"Exactly," Haku replied. "I wasn't familiar with the local herbs, so I asked for help and she gave me some tips."

"That's nice," Sakura said. "But shouldn't we be killing this imp?"

"Oh," Haku said, realizing he'd been distracted. "Right."

One senbon later, Haku was the proud owner of his very first imp gall.

"That was rather disgusting," he reported, wiping imp guts off his hand on a nearby plant.

"It looked like it," Sakura said with a gagging expression. "Where's Naruto?"

The boy in question was already into the mine.

* * *

The Derelict mine was originally a silver mine, but the veins were mostly mined out. There was a plan some years ago to revive the mine, but that was abandoned when the Sharp Tooth Goblins moved in. They were a nasty bunch that had already started wars with two other tribes and held Goblin Jim's totem for a couple of years.

Naruto should have learned long ago to think before he acted, but for some reason that was one of the many lessons he never mastered. The blond boy burst into the cavern and into a large congregation who had gathered to hear the shaman speak about their next raid. About twenty heads turned to look at him with more than a little menace. Naruto paused back, looking each goblin in the eyes. They stared back, surprised at the audacity of the yellow haired human of small stature.

Now, Naruto had not yet been able to replace his normal clothes and was wearing a conglomeration of shoes, pants, a vest, a hat and a pair of gloves. Not one piece came off the same bandit and none of them had been cleaned in some time. The result was a Naruto that smelled almost as bad as your average goblin. However, the Sharp Tooth Goblins were definitely not average. Nastiest, meanest, hungriest, those were things you could call the Sharp Tooth Goblins, but definitely not average. And to your average imperial citizen, that was pretty important. For Naruto, it just made him feel at home.

The shaman bellowed out a challenge, sending a blast of icy cold at the boy. Naruto jumped, spun and stuck his feet to the ceiling of the mine. Sakura and Haku walked in just that moment and Haku just barely had enough time to bring up an ice mirror to shield the two of them from the blast. Sakura pulled out a short sword and started hacking away at them for a moment. She paused, made a simple Clone and jumped back into the fray. Haku commanded his mirror to float in front of him like a tower shield, successfully blocking incoming attacks. From behind the icy wall, the boy was throwing senbon and making the floor slick, setting the goblins off balance. The moment most of them looked least stable, Haku forced the ice to change form, shooting up in sharp spikes. The ice spikes impaled more than a few goblins.

Sakura spun, blocking attacks were her short sword like it was a long kunai and delivering kicks and punches to her opponents. She was starting to get over that "save me, save me" mentality that she when she'd graduated from the Academy. She still didn't go for the kill, but rather to incapacitate. One of her most successful tactics was to imagine Naruto's face on every goblin and thus far it has seemed to have worked. Not long after she entered the fray, about half of them had fallen to her fists and feet. It was rather like Rookie Genin beating up newly admitted Academy students.

Naruto had, as was usually the case, the advantage of numbers. Dropping from the ceiling like spiders from above, the goblins didn't know how to react and fell as the force of the falling weight knocked their knees out from underneath them.

The Shaman, seeing the tribe failing to live up to their reputation, picked up his totem and started shuffling back deeper into the cavern, sending out a blast of ice behind him. Perhaps some reinforcements were in order.

Sakura saw the blast coming and quickly Replaced herself with a goblin berserker that was particularly ornery. The blast forced the goblin off his feet and sent him flying into the wall. Hearing more feet tromping up the passageway, she Transformed into a goblin and encouraged her companions to do the same.

The goblins arrived to see five unfamiliar goblins standing in the middle of their brethren and about twenty identical goblins standing on the ceiling. Sakura gave Naruto an annoyed look. He shrugged and looked at Haku. Haku also shrugged before making some one-handed hand signs, sending ice down the passageway. They ignored the screams of the goblins after the abrupt attack, but the creatures soon went silent. Although it was a morbid task, Naruto's clones raided the dead as the trio marched down the passageway. Getting into the middle room, Naruto triumphantly showed off two goblin totems.

"These are awesome!" he said. "Do you think I could have these mounted on the wall back in my castle?" he asked excitedly, blasting out fire and lighting from the two staffs. "I wanna learn how to use these techniques. Did you see that guy? He was throwing ice like you do, Haku!"

Haku pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Yes, I'm sure there's somebody who would teach you how to do this," Haku replied. "Let's seal up the equipment and get out of here."

* * *

Skingrad was a very different city than the Imperial City, but at the same time, it reminded the two Leaf ninjas of their home town, with the multiple stories, close alleys and narrow streets. The color scheme was quite different and the sharp angles were vastly different than the curves of most Konoha buildings.

"We'll stay here tonight," Sakura decided. She was often making these decisions, as Haku was used to letting Zabuza make all the decisions and had ended up rather codependent, and Naruto tended to be a bit clueless when it came to observing his companion's lesser stamina.

"I'm going to go visit the Alchemy shop and see if I can get a few more tips," Haku said.

"I'm going to go explore," Naruto said. Sakura was tired enough to forget to worry about what he would get into. And she should have been worrying because almost as soon as his companions were out of sight, a strange elf, nearly as short as Naruto himself showed up.

"Psst! _ Over here!_" he said, acting as if he and Naruto were old friends. Naruto, in his classically naive manner, walked right over and crouched down the same way.

"What?"

"We can't talk here!" the man said. "Meet me behind the Chapel at midnight!"

"Um...okay?" Naruto said.

"Good, now we can't be seen talking outside of that—OH, UH NO STRANGER I _DON'T_ KNOW THE WAY TO THE IMPERIAL CITY!"

"But I don't want to go to the Imperial City, I already know how to get there, and why are you yelling?"

"We can't be seen _speaking_!" the strange elf replied in a whispered hiss. And with a glance to see if anyone was looking, the oddball ran off, clearly paranoid even to Naruto's lack of observational skills. Naruto stood back up, scratched his head and jumped about a foot in the air when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Spinning around, he saw an red clad guard giving him a serious look.

"I saw Glathir speaking to you," the bald guard stated flatly. "That wood elf is crazy, you'd be best to stay away from him."

"I just met him today, I didn't even know his name until just now when you said it," Naruto defended.

"Just come to me or one of the other guards if he asks you to do anything weird."

"Okay," Naruto said, quick to agree what the local ANBU equivalent. It was always best to be on the good side of the guards until you knew exactly how to get around their patterns.

* * *

"Hi, welcome to my shop, I have the best and greatest selection of alchemical ingredients in Skingrad, what can I do for you today," the pretty dark elven woman said from behind the counter. "Actually, I'm the _only_ alchemist in Skingrad. Not much business here."

"I was hoping to see what you had in stock and maybe sell a few of my own," Haku replied, setting an improvised sealing scroll on the counter.

"Oh, that's great," she said. "Take a look at my wares." Haku picked out a few things here and there. "Oh, you got that for a song."

"Uh, thanks," Haku said. Something about this woman made him feel uncomfortable. "I'm new to this continent, and I don't mean any offense, but Dark Elves mostly come from Morrowind, right?"

"Oh, yes, I was born there myself," she replied. "I only came to Cyrodiil after some...incidents. But I can't go back to Morrowind. It's just like anywhere else in the Empire. "

"I can understand the need to move around," Haku said, having had a troubled past himself.

She nodded and gave the girlish boy elevator eyes. "By the way... do you happen to know what the fine is here in Cyrodiil for necrophilia? Just asking."

Haku froze with a nervous smile on his face. It was one of those oh-my-gawd-what-the-fuck-barbeque moments.

"_hehe_," the ice user giggled nervously. "Uh..._excuse me_?"

"Oh, just curious," she said, still smiling prettily.

"Is it the first offense?" Haku asked hoping beyond hope that the answer was 'haha, gotya!'

"Let's assume..._no_."

"I suppose it couldn't be less than five hundred Septims," Haku replied, fidgeting nervously, as he made up a random amount off the top of his head.

"Oh! That's not even _half_ the fine in Morrowind!" she replied.

"Glad to help," Haku replied, taking a half step closer to the door.

"On a _totally_ unrelated topic," the alchemist said. "Has anyone ever told you that you'd make a beautiful corpse?"

The alchemist blinked at the sudden burst of dust in the room.

"Huh, where'd she go?"

There was the faint sound of a girlish voice yelling: "I'm a boy!" but it trailed off into the distance as Haku made his escape.

* * *

Sakura walked into the Fighter's Guild. And while that would normally sound like a bad joke, she was dead serious. Serious that is, not dead, because everyone knew Archmage Traven had banned the practice of necromancy in Cyrodiil. Walking right up to one of the steel-clad porters, she spread out her map of Tamriel.

"Do you know how to get back to the Land of Fire?" she asked.

"I don't even know if I've ever heard of that," the porter replied.

"I thought that the Fighter's Guild was supposed to be the most widely traveled group of men and women in the Empire, I just want to find a way back home!" she said.

"Then trace your path back the way you came," the porter suggested.

"We were kidnapped, we don't know how we got here from Wave Country," she replied. "We woke up, the four of us, in the Imperial Prison, and we hadn't done anything!"

"You _do_ know that you get kicked out of the guild if you're caught doing some incarceration, right?" the porter cautioned as he motioned for her to keep her voice down.

"We were cleared by the Emperor himself before he died," she quickly replied.

"Oh, well that's okay," the porter relaxed. "If the Emperor said it was a mistake, then it was a mistake."

"Thanks, it's just, I'm sure we had to take a ship, but I haven't been near docks or anything because the Blades have us running all over the province," Sakura grumbled. "I want to go home. I want to see my mother and I want to eat in a civilized place that uses chopsticks and not some primitive place like this that stabs things with a fork."

'Uh, right, whatever you say, you pink haired and slightly creepy little girl' he thought. He continued aloud. "Well, why don't you try Anvil or the Imperial Waterfront?" the porter suggested. "Rumor has it that a new ship just docked up at the Waterfront, and Anvil is always getting more ships from far off places."

"Oh, thanks for the suggestion," Sakura said. "Now, do you know any more landmarks I should note on my map? My companions and I have been having trouble with getting lost."

"Well, this here is the Colovian Highlands, nobody lives there now, but you'll find ruins here and there of both Imperial Forts and Aylied ruins as well as some older spots if you look hard enough," the Porter commented before having to leave. After asking a few other people, she had several places for goblin hunting (which she considered a barbaric, but lucrative practice), two forts, a giant redwood tree and a few suggestions for Wayshrines of the Nine. For some reason it was taboo to mark them on the map, but she did anyway, feeling a little like a rebel. Tucking the map surreptitiously into her belt pouch, she made her way back out to the street just in time to see Haku run down the street like a bat outta hell with a look of pure fear on his pretty little face.

* * *

Kakashi arrived back in Konoha with Zabuza, his accidental traveling companion, late into the night. The check at the village gate was stricter than normal, no doubt due to the abduction of three of their Genin. ANBU were quick to inform them that Zabuza would accompany them during his stay in Konoha, and that was not up for discussion. Zabuza had originally objected, but Kakashi reminded the missing-nin that it was in his best interest to comply. Kakashi was ordered to report to the Hokage as soon as possible and that it was not up for discussion; old ladies crossing the street and black cats were not going to be worthy excuses.

Kakashi returned to his flat with a heavy heart. A thick layer of dust from the two months of searching had spread over all the surfaces and even his precious Icha Icha collection had not avoided his neglect. He didn't have time to do any cleaning or house chores and decided instead to fall onto his bed and sleep.

Obito came to him in his sleep, with Rin hanging about in the background seeming to slip in and out of shadows. His teammates, dead and missing, laughed at him, cursed at him, abused him.

"You're a failure, Kakashi," said a familiar voice. "I would have never let this happen to a team that I led."

"But Obito died!" Kakashi protested, turning to face the specter of his dead teammate. Obito lurched like a zombie, blood and puss running from his empty eye-socket. "You're dead!"

"And that was your fault as well," said a different, yet equally familiar voice from behind him.

Kakashi turned to see his old teacher, blond hair, white cloak with flames and an angry look. The Fourth Hokage crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at Kakashi like he was an insect to be stepped on. He loomed over the Copy Ninja like some specter of death preparing to take his soul to the afterlife.

"Your failure as a team leader brought about his death," Minato told the masked Jonin. "Your failure as a person drove Rin away, sending her on that mission that she never returned from. Your failure as a teacher got your students, precious students, sold into slavery."

"But we were drugged!"

"What kind of ninja lets his guard down in enemy territory?"

"We weren't in enemy territory, we were in the Client's house!"

"The entire island was enemy territory!"

Kakashi felt his back seem to give out on him, letting him slump to the ground.

"What kind of instructor lets Genin right out of the academy continue on a mission that went from C-rank to A?

"They wanted to continue! They made their decision!"

"THEY WERE CHILDREN!"

Kakashi hung his head. His teacher was right. He was a failure.

"You have a chance to make things right. But it's up to you to make the choice to do so," his teacher said as his dead teammates cackled in the background like oni. His teacher walked among the streets of Konoha like the nine tailed fox through a forest. Just as everything began to slip away, his teacher turned to him once more.

"What kind of teacher can't tell the genius from the spoiled brat?"

* * *

They decided to stay in three rooms in the West Wield Inn, Haku and Naruto sharing a double room with Sakura in her own single. They might not have had showers, but it felt good to be clean for the first time since they left Battlehorn. In the middle of the night, Haku was awakened by Naruto attempting to sneak out the window.

"Naruto, what are you doing?"

"Someone asked me to meet them behind the chapel," Naruto said.

"At _this_ hour?" Haku asked incredulously. Naruto nodded before jumping out the second story window. Haku stared after him for a moment before throwing the covers back over his head. "Whatever, it's not worth it."

He walked along the side of the building for a bit before getting lost. Naruto, somehow, ended up making shadow puppets in Count Hassildor's window for a while before heading back to the tall Great Chapel of Julianos. Naruto slipped through the cobbled streets and along the sides of buildings until he dropped silently behind the waiting Glarthir.

"Hey."

"Ah!" the elf screamed in surprise.

"Are you sure nobody ever saw you?"

"I'm sure somebody's seen me, 'cuz I wear orange a lot," Naruto replied with a straight face.

"No, I mean tonight," the wood elf asked as he nervously glanced around.

"Tonight? Yeah-I mean, no, nope, nobody saw me, not Haku and nobody else, nope, nope, nope," Naruto replied in an attempt at the Oscar for the Worst Liar _Ever_.

"Good, good," the wood elf replied. "I've discovered a conspiracy in Skingrad."

"Oh no!" Naruto said before pausing. "Wait, what's a conspiracy?"

Glarthir gave him a quick rendition of what was going on in Skingrad and how the elf thought Bernadette Peneles was watching him.

"And I need you to make sure."

"Make sure of what?"

"Make sure Bernadette is part of the conspiracy," Glarthir explained.

"Oh," Naruto said. "How do I do that?"

"You need to watch her," the wood elf replied. "Keep an eye on her no matter where she goes."

"That's a little pervy," Naruto replied. "I'm not that kind of guy."

"No, not like that!"

Eventually, Glarthir explained what he actually wanted Naruto to do, and Naruto agreed with a nod of his head. Then he went back to the inn, sneaking in the same window, slipped into a chair where he fell asleep and promptly started dreaming.

* * *

After a nice big breakfast of Bruma cheese, Anvil lamb and Colovian apples with a mug of Skingrad grape juice (they were underage for the local wines, but Surilie's does make a good juice grape), Sakura went perusing the shops. There were several clothing shops of various types, and other places she didn't have much interest in, but eventually she walked into a blacksmith's shop to see if they had any tools she could use, but there wasn't much on display in the shelves. There was also a distinct lack of blacksmith in the smithy. It was odd, even the coals in the fire pit were cold and the scent of booze filled the air. She sniffed, glanced around and even pondered that perhaps she had walked into a shop when it was supposed to be closed. Sakura stuck her head out and looked at the sign. Nope, the shop should have opened officially an hour ago.

The girl was about to leave and come back later, when she heard a groan from behind the anvil. Hopping over the metal weight, she found an older blonde woman clutching a bottle of Tamika's finest. She had the reddest nose Sakura had ever seen, and stank worse than the seediest bar the pink-haired ninja could imagine.

"Uh, hello?"

"Ugh, my aching head," the woman grumbled as she struggled to sit upright. "Huh, why am I in the smithy?"

Sakura glanced at the woman and then at her clothes.

"I'm guessing because you're the blacksmith?" she hypothesized.

"Yeah, they call me the Pickled," she said. Her breath was so strong she could have given a painted horse alcohol poisoning from a quick whiff.

"The Pickled?"

"Yup, the Pickled," she confirmed, staggering and swaggering a little and knocking over a weapon display case. "The wine here's so great, I don't even drink beer anymore. That's almost sacrilege for a Nord like me."

She took a step closer and Sakura almost puked from the smell of the woman's breath.

"I seem to be not feeling too well. I'll see you later then," Sakura said worriedly before stepping out of the shop.

* * *

"On second thought," said Sakura, "let's not stay in Skingrad any longer. 'Tis a creepy place."

"I think everyone here is insane," Haku said, glancing around nervously. "And scary."

"I dunno, Glarthir seemed kinda nice, even if he was a bit of a pervert," Naruto put in before turning to Haku. "How did the alchemist work out?"

Haku gave his friend a pained look. He turned away and held a hand up to stop the blond boy from saying anything more. "Don't. Just...don't. It's too soon. Way too soon."

And so our three intrepid adventurers went onwards down the road to Kvatch.

* * *

"So, let me get this straight," Homura asked, straightening his glasses. "You were in enemy territory and you let unblooded _Genin_ take command of the mission?"

"It's not precisely like that," Kakashi replied, stifling a wince at the Elder's tone. "I was suffering from chakra exhaustion and at the time we were still under the impression that the Demon of the Bloody Mist was dead. It was reasonable for them to have some independence and individual training since I couldn't give them my full attention, having been nearly incapacitated."

Sarutobi wanted to cover his face in his hands and ignore the world. This was one of the worst things that could have happened right before the Chunin Examination. Kakashi was holding up well before the council, but the Hokage could tell that he was more than a little troubled by this situation even more than the inquest by the Hokage's old teammates. Sarutobi motioned for the masked man to continue.

"It was only the second night after our arrival that we were drugged," Kakashi continued. "Normally, I would be able to fight such a thing off, but in my weakened state I was barely able to stay awake without being drugged. I'm just lucky that it wasn't poison. And there is the matter that we were lied to the entire way. The more we learned about what had been happening, the worse things became."

"You should have turned back the moment the Demon Brothers attacked," snarled Koharu.

"I felt, as senior ninja on the mission, that my team could deal with that level of opponent," Kakashi replied. "By the time we encountered Zabuza Momochi, we had already committed ourselves by crossing the strait between Wave and Fire. When it was apparent how dangerous it was for all of us, we were in battle with a notorious missing-nin. Tell me, when exactly was I supposed to pull out of the fight? Should I have left my client to die? How about Councilwoman Haruno's daughter?" Kakashi gave the woman a nod that she quickly returned, but she turned to glare at the other council members.

"How about your precious Uchiha, a kid who froze at the first sign of real violence? How about the kid that's been keeping us safe for these past years from complete destruction?" Several of the ninjas in the background made some noises that suggested that last one wouldn't have been such a sacrifice. "Might I remind all you idiots that you have no clue about sealing beyond the basics? I know a little sealing considering my Jonin Instructor; you might remember him, Minato Namikaze? Also went by the Fourth Hokage and the Yellow Flash? But even with what he taught me, the only one who really knew about it, was him, and he's dead. That for all you know, killing Naruto might just release It? And if that should happen in another nation, it could be seen as an act of war? I had a responsibility for four people immediately and many more later on considering I was also responsible for the bridge workers' safety. You were not there, you can look back at Wave from within the walls of this village, but unless you're all Super-Hyuugas in disguise, you can't see through them."

"You can't talk to us this way!"

"Like _hell_ I can't," snarled Kakashi, standing up from his seat. He turned to face them fully, having slid his protector up from its normal tilted position. His tomoe spinning in one eye none of the council had seen him reveal. His entire being was full of menace as he glared at them with two eyes, the scar dragging everyone's sight to the crimson iris of his sharingan. "You make accusations, you point fingers and spread blame, but all you're really good at is character assassination. Goodness knows I understand what that's like considering my father."

Some of the council members looked as if they had been slapped.

"Don't expect me to go out like my father and cut my own stomach," Kakashi growled, bending down to glare into the eyes of the councilman who talked back. "I have little faith in this village, I haven't for years, not since my Sensei sacrificed himself for this village, something I'm questioning that he should have done, because you clearly aren't worth it. Less than half of you made it beyond Chunin, and so have no clue about what you're spouting off about. Most of you who once _were_ jonin, haven't been active for a decade or more. What right do you have to think you have _any_ clue about what happens in the field these days?"

Sarutobi let Kakashi continue, ignoring his old teammates' silent commands for him to get the ninja under control. This was something that had been building up for years and it was best to let him express it verbally instead of physically, because the Copy Ninja would have killed them all. And at least part of Sarutobi would have let him.

"We are not here to second guess decisions made in the field," the Hokage put in. "We are here to talk about mounting a rescue mission based on the information Kakashi and Zabuza Momochi have managed to acquire."

"We also need to find out what has happened to them since their capture," Kakashi put in.

"Why should we deal with a missing ninja?" Koharu demanded.

"I agree, especially one such as the Demon of the Mist," Homura agreed.

"Because regardless of if we help him or not, he is going to rescue his apprentice," Sarutobi stated flatly. "An apprentice who happens the be the only known bearer of the Ice Bloodline according to Momochi. By bringing them back, we stand to gain much more than just three of our own returned to us. There is also the fact that they were sold to rather unknown lands, lands that could greatly benefit the Land of Fire, something the Fire Lord had stated he wants. In fact he's interested in it enough that he's agreed to bankroll the whole mission."

"What about the fallout of Jonin Kakashi's rampage across Wave Country?" Hiashi Hyuuga asked flatly. Kakashi gave the man a glare and a low snort.

"The Fire Lord wants to take a wait and see approach," Sarutobi replied. "He is already authorizing several missions to strengthen ties to the survivors and to weed out any remaining minions of Gato. These are going to be C-Rank and up. But that is not the issue at hand."

"I request that my child's team be chosen for the rescue mission," The Nara head suggested, his two partners nodding in agreement.

"Actually, as this involves entering a greatly unknown nation and land, no Genin teams will be involved," the Hokage stated flatly. "I need experienced ninja in this, and at the same time, I need the Jonin Instructors to train their students to their fullest here. No, Kakashi and three ANBU, Jonin or Chunin of his choice will fill out the team slots. Any more than that would weaken us too much."

"Why such a team?"

"Because I know who I need on this team," Kakashi said. "I need a team that is seasoned and actually cares about the objective. Which is why I'm being choosy. I've got a few in mind who might fit."

"Yes," Sarutobi commented with a wry smile as he thought of a likely choice. "I think one's been avoiding these kind of missions because he doesn't want to leave the Academy." He nodded to Kakashi. "Please summarize what you've learned thus far."

"Across the eastern ocean, beyond Water Country, there is another continent that we only have limited contact with, mostly through long distance trade, as ships rarely cross all the way over and back," Kakashi explained. "However, I did learn that undesirables have been shipped regularly out of the Elemental Countries Eastward, across the ocean and sold as slaves. They are kept drugged to the gills for the trip, and fed using medical techniques only enough to keep them alive. As I understand, it was our tendency towards war that made it start, as refugees wanting escape. Most didn't know that they were paying the ships to take them away, and the ships were selling them as slaves on the other side. It was a very lucrative business. However, when the last war ended, the demand was still there, and they started capturing and selling."

He held up a picture of Gato.

"As far as I know, Gato, former head of the Gato Corporation, was not a regular supplier, but did have contacts that knew their way around the trade," Kakashi continued. "He found out about the kids and told his minions to get rid of them, and Zabuza's apprentice. Their chosen method was slavery. Considering Gato thought he was going to betray Zabuza after the missing-nin killed us, the shrimp obviously didn't know much about ninja, which is why I think Gato Corp and his minions had little knowledge of ninja as a whole, or someone there would have recognized the Uchiha name. Sasuke was not exactly subtle at informing people of his family identity, going so far to wear his Clan symbol on his back like a big giant 'kill me' target. An Uchiha, even one who hadn't activated his eyes yet, is a valuable prize. Kumo or any of the other Shinobi villages would have paid quite a bit for the boy, but he was sold as just another kid."

"What do you know about this...Tamriel place?" Inoichi Yamanaka asked. He leaned back and crossed his arms.

"It's actually one nation made up of smaller provinces and then into counties," Kakashi explained. He sighed at their confused look. "Imagine if all the Elemental Nations were under one ruler and the various lords of the nations were only regional governors." The more political minded members nodded in understanding. "We weren't able to find many people who knew a lot about it, but we were able to get a few books. It took me some time to learn how to read them, but this Barenziah seems like quite the woman (I prefer the Daggerfall edition, myself) not to mention the stories of Argonian Maids. They don't use ninja like we do, but have different guilds. People hire the guilds for jobs like we have people hire ninjas. It's led by an Emperor who has ruled for decades at this point."

"How are you getting there?"

"There's a shipcaptain that owes Zabuza his life," Kakashi explained. "Zabuza was willing to let him keep it if he sailed us to Tamriel."

"Very well," Sarutobi nodded. "Is there anything else?"

"Unfortunately no, there's little contact and so I've got little intelligence on the place," Kakashi admitted. It wasn't going to be easy, but he was going to finish the job.

"How are you going to find them?" The Akamichi asked.

"Naruto's with them," Kakashi said with a shrug. "Unless he wants to be hidden, everybody's going to know his name within a week of his arrival. I'll just ask what passes for guards if they've seen an orange and yellow army."

The council had to admit he was probably right.

* * *

"Achoo!" Naruto sneezed, narrowly missing Sakura and Haku much to their disgust, though not as much as if he had actually hit them. "Wow, somebody must be talking about me."

"That was gross," Sakura said, edging away from the blast zone. "We're almost to Kvatch and then it's back to Chorrol. It's too bad we'll be going so slow."

"Why would we be slow?" Haku asked.

"I seriously doubt this Martin guy knows how to travel like Ninjas," Sakura pointed out.

"True, and it's not like there's some kind of 'Fast Travel No Jutsu' that we can put on him to make him go faster," Haku agreed.

"Maybe we could make one?" Naruto suggested. His companions both looked at him for a moment, stunned by the suggestion.

"Naruto you idiot! We're just Genin! We can't be making new techniques like that!" Sakura said, whacking the boy on the back of the head.

"Hey! Why can't we? Where's the rule, Sakura-chan? I made Sexy no Jutsu when I was in the Academy and I took out the Hokage with it! So there's no rule! So _Ha_!" Naruto protested, rubbing the bump Sakura's fist had made. Sakura looked positively outraged and Naruto wisely stepped out of her range.

Haku pondered the possibility for a moment. "It's true, there isn't a rule about it," he said. "And it would make things easier for us, especially on escort missions."

"Ha! See, Sakura-chan, _Haku_ agrees with me," Naruto said with a haughty expression. Sakura was a little distracted because a Knight was riding by, appearing to be pretending to ride a horse while his servant clapped two coconut shells together.

"Come Patsy!" the Knight declared. Trumpets blared in the background, however a quick glance revealed no such trumpets.

The three Genin watched as they passed by, realizing they were, indeed, moving as fast as a horse.

"Hey, where'd you get the coconuts?" Naruto called out, but by that time, the duo were out of sight, although the clomping of the shells still echoed throughout the Colovian lowlands.

"Well, they obviously came from elsewhere," Haku suggested, not intending or realizing the pun. "Maybe a sparrow brought them?"

Sakura just gave them both a glare and tromped onward down the road.

* * *

**Next Time**: Return to Kvatch


	7. The Return to Kvatch

.

**Naruto's Oblivion**

by DireSquirrel

Chapter Seven

_Return to Kvatch_

_._

* * *

By the time they got back to Kvatch, they found the impromptu tent city at the bottom of the mountain had been moved back up to the ruins above, seeing as the monsters were all cleared out. So they made their way back up the long winding road only to find a new settlement, bustling with the survivors.

"You don't know, it hasn't been that long," Said one guard to another. "She could still be trapped in a cellar somewhere."

"I know, but I'm losing hope," replied the other one. "Oh, hi you three, back so soon? We don't need saving _this_ time, but thanks again for everything you've done for us!"

"Yup!" Naruto said. "We've gotta go find this Martin guy."

"Brother Martin? Oh, he's probably over by the tents on the other side of the temple, we've had some help clearing a few of the ruins and were able to break new ground."

"That's great! Any word on when you'll be able to start building?"

"You might want to speak to the Captain about that, he might be able to use your help," suggested the guard.

"Thanks," Sakura said as she started walking in the general direction of the tents. "So who wants to talk to the Captain?"

"I will," Haku said. "You two go get Martin. I'll go see what Savlian has to say."

The trio split up, with Sakura and Naruto finding the Heir to the Empire, and Haku off towards the castle where Savlian Matius was spending the day staring at it again. By the rumors Haku had heard in town, Savlian had ordered the portcullis dropped, the secret entrance blocked and the rest of the town rebuilt first. The ice boy found the Captain of the Kvatch Guard feeding the deer Naruto's shadow clones had released into the ruins. Oddly enough, they were pretty tame at this point, especially since they shouldn't have been alive at all when one considers where the ramen worshiper found them.

"Ah, Haku, pleasant day isn't it?" the unarmored guard captain said as the deer fed from his open palm.

"Yes, yes it is," Haku agreed with a smile.

"I had a request," he began. "You see, we're going to rebuild like I said we would. However, we lack the construction expertise, and I was hoping that you, or one of your friends, would be willing to petition the Count of Skingrad on our behalf."

Haku paled almost to the color of his ice.

"Is something the matter?" Savlian asked.

"Er...I don't have to actually go in the city do I? Just pop into the castle and wait for an audience?"

"I suppose so," the captain said with a shrug. "Although, I should warn you, Count Janus Hassildor is a rather...odd man."

"He's the count of Skingrad, I'd be surprised if he wasn't," Haku stated flatly. "It's a creepy place."

"It's a fair cop."

* * *

"Hey Marty!" Naruto called out to where the unknowing Imperial Heir. Brother Martin was tending to the flock and dealing with a young girl who had lost her father in the recent disaster. He looked up at them with a smile.

"Hello there, I am pleased to see you are both in good health," he told them honestly. "And how is the other girl?"

"Male and doing well," Sakura said in hopes of diffusing any potential problems down the line.

"What brings you back to Kvatch?"

"You're the Emperor's kid and you need to become Emperor," Naruto said indelicately.

"You must be mistaken; my father was a farmer," Marty protested.

"How'd he make time to be a farmer _and_ an emperor?" Naruto asked, pondering the question as if it were one of the great mysteries of the universe, prompting Sakura to slap him on the back of the head. She had recently realized it wasn't a good idea to knock out her companion when she might need him to swarm an enemy, and in this strange land, you never knew when a bandit would just show up out of the blue. Hence the swapping from punches to head slaps.

"He was just your foster father," Sakura explained. "The Blades need to keep you safe."

"Yeah, Marty!" Naruto said with a grin as he folded his fingers behind his head and stretched. "You'd better do a good job too!"

Sakura grabbed the blond in a head lock and growled. "You of _all_ people shouldn't be saying that kind of crap!"

Then she looked up at their target. Martin covered his face as he struggled not to laugh. Realizing the man's laughter was directed at her, she turned the same color as her hair and looked away in embarrassment. Martin quickly schooled his face into a more serious visage.

"Very well, if you are so sure that I am this royal heir, I shall accompany you to...wherever it is you think I need to go," Martin agreed.

"Great! We'll keep you safe, Marty, BELIEVE IT!" Naruto declared hotly. The seriousness on the boy's face just made Martin break into laughter again.

"So, which of you is going back to Skingrad?" Haku asked his two companions.

"Why don't you?"

"I would rather jump into a portal to hell than spend any more time in that abomination of a city," Haku said honestly. "And considering we've all done it once already, I feel confidant that I'll survive a second time."

"I didn't think Skingrad was all that bad," Naruto said. "Glarthir was kinda nice."

His two companions looked at him like he was crazy.

"What?"

Haku shared a look with Sakura before they both nodded after a moment of silent communication. Haku slapped his blond friend on the back. "Congratulations, Naruto, you're headed back to Skingrad while we'll take Martin back to Weynon Priory."

"Make sure you look at the map right this time," Sakura growled.

"You're not going to wait for me?"

"Wait? Why would you wait? You already know the way to Chorrol," Haku said.

"But! You can't abandon me! Those who abandon their companions are worse than trash!" Naruto protested. "Don't be like Sasuke!"

"We're not abandoning you," Haku said with a sigh as he rested a hand on the younger boy's shoulder. "We're just accomplishing two objectives at the same time. There's nothing wrong with that, right?"

Naruto looked like he was about to cry.

Haku looked like he was about to fold. He glanced towards Sakura for help.

"Fine!" Sakura said. "I'll go with you. Haku, you head to Weynon and we'll head into Skingrad."

Haku looked like he was full of relief. As did Naruto for that matter.

"Why were you so upset?" Sakura asked Naruto later after Haku and Martin had started off.

"This is the first time I've ever been out of Konoha," Naruto said. "I already got us lost once!"

* * *

"Yosh! Lord Hokage I have come to report a disappearance!" Guy-Sensei, Azure Beast of Konoha announced as he Dynamic-Entried the door to the Hokage's office. Letting loose a sigh, Sarutobi set down his pipe and nodded.

"Go ahead Guy, who seems to be missing?" Sarutobi inquired.

"My eternal rival, Kakashi, has gone missing!" Guy said, striking a pose. "I returned from my C-Rank with my team only to find him gone! We left the same day and challenged each other to completing our tasks first."

"Kakashi's team was kidnapped by Gato of Gato Industries and sent overseas," Sarutobi replied. "Kakashi took the Ino-Shika-Cho trio to rescue them."

"Ah! So he has gone to Tamriel!" Guy said, giving his "nice guy" pose.

"How do you know that? _I_ didn't even know that place existed!" the Hokage demanded as he stood up abruptly from his chair.

"I know, for I am the Nerevarine!" Guy said, letting some unknown light source twinkle off his teeth as he showed off a ring with a star and a crescent moon.

"The _what_?" the Hokage asked. "You've _been_ there? When did this happen?"

"Indeed, it was many years ago when the Azure Beast of Konoha traveled to far off Morrowind," Guy said nodding sagely. "I feel this requires a flashback!"

"By all means," shrugged the Third Hokage.

"Very well, if I do not paint a clear picture in this flashback, I shall run to Tamriel on my hands after teaching my team to do so with me!" Guy declared.

"That's probably how this happened in the first place, isn't it?" Sarutobi muttered, but Guy wasn't paying any attention.

"Many years ago, when Minato Namikaze took your position..."

* * *

Years ago, just a few months after the inauguration of the Fourth Hokage, Guy lost a challenge to Kakashi about something that now neither of them remember. What Guy did remember was bursting into Minato's office and interrupting a most youthful encounter the young Hokage was engaged in with a very beautiful (and angry at being interrupted) redhead. He excused himself and went back later.

"I apologize for my earlier invasion of your privacy!"

"That's fine, Guy, what do you need?" Minato asked.

"I require some time off because I must run across the ocean only on my knees and elbows!" Guy declared. Minato facepalmed.

"You just lost a bet with Kakashi, didn't you?"

"Exactly!" Guy said, completely serious as he flashed a "nice guy" pose at the newly instated Hokage. Said Hokage let out a sigh of the truly exasperated.

"How long will you need?" the blond man asked.

"As long as it takes!" Guy replied giving the man a serious nod. Kakashi's sensei scribbled down something on a piece of paper.

"Here you go, get back as soon as you can," Minato commanded, pushing the release-from-work papers across the desk.

"_**Yosh**_!" Guy gave a crisp salute and vanished in a burst of speed.

* * *

"And that is how I ended up in Morrowind," Guy explained, before turning ponderous. "Do you think this qualifies as my win, if Kakashi was required to return to fetch his students?"

"It could be said that Kakashi won since he completed his mission first," the Hokage replied.

"Ah, but did he do so on his own, or did he do so with his team?" Guy replied. "For our bet was regarding our teams."

"Then you can count this as your win," Sarutobi replied. "Now, if you wouldn't mind, would you please write up a report for the council on everything you know about Tamriel?"

"_Yosh_! I shall do so quickly and concisely, and if I fail, I will rewrite the entire report typing with my toes on a typewriter using parchment!"

"Just legible double spaced is fine," Sarutobi replied. The old man tuned out the declaration of intent should Guy fail to write legibly double-spaced as the green spandex clad jonin moved to leave the office. Then a stray thought occurred to him.

"Wait, why didn't Kakashi know about this?" the old man asked. "Shouldn't he have at least had basic knowledge of Tamriel from your experiences?"

"I do believe this requires another flashback!" Guy said.

"Go ahead."

* * *

After Guy returned from his stint as the Hero of Morrowind:

"And that was how I became immune to poisons and disease!" Guy said, giving a thumbs up whole showing off a certain ring. Kakashi blinked.

"Huh? You say something?" the masked pervert asked as he looked up from his book.

"Curse your hip attitude, Kakashi!" Guy cursed with a scowl.

* * *

"And _that_ I should have seen coming," Sarutobi grumbled, puffing angrily on his pipe. "Curse your hip attitude, _indeed_."

* * *

_._

* * *

Three days later, having spent a great deal of time finding the Count's "lunch" in a goblin infested hole and waiting another day for the count to show up the next night, the duo arrived at Weynon Priory fully expecting Haku and Martin to be waiting for them. That was proven to be an incorrect assumption.

"What do you mean Haku and Martin aren't here yet?" Sakura demanded. "They left before us!"

Jauffre did not look pleased at the news.

"And what were you doing splitting up? You knew Martin was the heir!"

"Haku refused to go into Skingrad because he thinks it's a creepy place and then he volunteered to come here while we arranged for a meeting with Count Hassildor to get architects, masons and other workers for Kvatch in their rebuilding," Naruto explained. "And there were goblins, strange red colored liquid lunches and crazy old farmers handing out rings."

The priory was quiet for a moment before Sakura gasped in sudden realization.

"I never gave Haku the map," Sakura said.

* * *

Somewhere else:

Haku and Martin looked around at the stark landscape. There was no plant life in sight, and the only source of water was a crazy cat person forcing a giant two legged lizard to walk around in circles. This creature worked the pump which hauled up some of the precious liquid from deep below the desert sands. The pump house was the only landmark in sight in all directions except for sand, sand and more sand.

"So where are we?" Haku asked the Khajiit.

"Elsweyr."

"I know we're elsewhere, but where exactly?"

"Right here."

"I know that, but here is what province?"

"Elsweyr!"

Martin, while as completely lost as his companion, still found the humor in the situation. Still, enough was enough.

"Haku," he said, capturing the ice user's attention. "The province is named Elsweyr."

…

...

"_Oh_," Haku said looking utterly ashamed. He looked back at the Khajiit. "You wouldn't happen to know how to get to Chorrol, would you?"

"No, where is that?"

"Elsewhere," said Haku dejectedly.

* * *

"So, let me get this straight," Jauffre asked. "You allowed a young man, who was possibly once the apprentice to your enemy, guide the Heir to the Empire of Tamriel, the only hope for our continued survival, I might remind you, without _any_ sort of checks or balances. Did I get that right?"

"Hey! Haku went into Oblivion with us! I trust him!" Naruto growled back.

"I've gotta agree with Naruto on this one," Sakura said. "The willingness to jump into a portal of flames with little clue as to what was on the other side says a lot about his character."

The atmosphere at Weynon Priory was tense. The Prior was not pleased with Naruto ever since the muddy ceiling incident and the others weren't pleased that Martin had gone missing. Even the friendly shepherd was looking down on them with disapproval.

"Hey! We didn't do anything wrong! They're just late, probably got mixed up with some bandits or something," Naruto said. "They'll probably be right along."

* * *

"Haku," Martin said testily.

"Yeah?" the girlish boy replied.

"Remind me again why we're being chased by an entire native village?" the heir asked in a gruff tone. Haku ducked as a spear sailed through the space his head was just a moment before. He spun, sent up a wall of ice to block any more and started running as fast as he could.

"I think it was because you asked them why they were worshiping a pineapple," Haku said panting.

"Right," Martin said with a nod. "Even most Sheogorath followers aren't that daft."

"I'll take your word for it," the ice ninja replied. "Let's go hide behind that floating rock over there."

"Floating rock? Are you mad?" the Heir to the Empire asked with a confused look as he dodged another spear. Haku pointed to a rock floating several feet off the ground. "And here I thought stable portals to Oblivion were the strangest thing I'd ever encounter."

They hid for a while, but far too soon for them to catch their breath, the duo was spotted by a crouching Khajiit tribesman who looked under the floating stone, allowing him a clear shot at their legs. Haku, jumping to avoid the stabbing spear, glanced around to see if there was anywhere safe in Elsweyr and spotted a ribbon of blue and green as cool waters flowed through the desert giving life to the otherwise barren land. "Look! A river!"

"A river, how is that going to help us?" Martin asked even as he started running towards it.

"I'll wait for them to get in and then freeze them in place," Haku said, as he used the last of his water to form an ice mirror that he used as a sled down the hot desert sands. They slid faster and faster, Haku throwing his weight left and right to allow them to dodge the occasional boulder. Then, about three-quarters of the way to the river, they realized that the sand jutted up into a ramp where it sheltered against a rock, acting as a ramp and sending them flying into the sky. Haku shut his eyes and Martin screamed like a prepubescent child at a horror convention as they sailed over an elephant. They landed in the water with such force that their teeth clacked together and their heads snapped backwards, giving them both a wicked case of whiplash. The water surged up around them, soaking them both to the bone. Shaking off the pain, Haku threw his weight to the side, curving them around in the water and letting them avoid certain death at the hands of the river's rocky eastern bank.

The elephants trumpeted in alarm at the sight of a pair of humans flying over their heads. Almost as one, they surged up the banks, always from the sharp noise of Haku's ice mirror hitting the surface of the water, and ran away. The running soon turned into a stampede and the angry tribal people decided that letting a couple of blasphemers go free was a little price to pay to avoid death by elephant feet.

As they settled into a lazy spin along the current, both of them breathing heavily, Haku looked back up at the sandy riverbanks and then back at Martin.

"Do you think we lost them?" he asked.

"Yes, but I believe it had more to do with the elephant stampede than anything else," Martin replied, pointing to where the remains of the Khajiit tribesmen and tribeswomen were still fleeing from the large gray pachyderms.

* * *

"I'm sure they're fine," Sakura said back at Weynon Priory. "They're probably just taking their time."

* * *

Haku nodded and slumped backwards on the ice mirror, panting in relief. "Um..."

"What is it?" Martin asked with concern.

"Is this a bad time to mention we're heading right for a waterfall?"

* * *

"I hope you're right," Jauffre said. "This could be interpreted as an attempted kidnapping."

"Uh-wha?" Naruto asked dumfounded. "But we didn't do anything!"

Sakura gave the old man a glare she usually reserved for Naruto on one of his more "off" days. To her credit, it did make him blink, but had little other effect.

"You were sent to retrieve the heir to the Empire!" Jauffre bellowed.

"Hey! Sakura and I are twelve! Don't yell at us!" Naruto gave them all a glare that was almost strong enough to shame even the sternest heart. The man, well into his 70s, suddenly felt ashamed. Why _had_ he given this task to a bunch of preteens anyway?

He took a deep breath and forcibly relaxed his clenched fists on top of the desk.

"Perhaps I was too... _hasty_ in my accusations," Jauffre said, not looking them in the eyes as he tried to calm down. "I'm sure Martin and Haku are perfectly fine."

* * *

"_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_!" the two travelers screamed as they almost went over the edge. Haku cast out his palm, freezing the water at the very edge into a large wall of ice, preventing them from going over, but instead smashing them into the barrier. Haku made another ice mirror and pulled both him and the Heir Apparent into it and then made one more on dry land. The slumped onto the sand, small grasses in the moist soil at their backs and sighed as they caught their breath.

"Ow," Martin said in slow motion as he pulled himself into a sitting position. "I feel like I was trampled by that herd of elephants then gnawed on by trolls, before getting into a fist fight with an ogre." He winced as he pressed his lower back. "I think you put your elbow in my spleen, or maybe my colon."

Haku, in an equal amount of pain, didn't say anything but groaned wordlessly.

They sat there, resting up in the hopes of recovering for quite a while until they realized their feet were getting wet. Eyes snapped open and they realized Haku's ice dam had not yet melted, creating a plug. The water in the river kept flowing and filled up the canyon behind it.

"Uh-oh," Haku said as he watched the dam burst when enough of it had melted.

Martin whistled in horrified surprise as he saw the devastation a flash flood could do.

"I really hope there isn't anybody down stream," he said worriedly.

* * *

_Meanwhile, down stream:_

'Me am greatest troll ever,' thought the bridge troll on top of the stone bridge. 'Me am having goat for dinner.'

There was a rumbling and the rather stupid creature glanced up stream, only to see a wall of water rushing towards him filled with downed trees, crocodiles, rats, a few herd animals and a few floating rocks rushing towards him.

"Uh-oh," the troll said, looking up stream.

It was a testament to Elsweyr engineering that the bridge survived.

* * *

Haku winced as he heard a yelping dingo from down stream. He looked to Martin for help. Martin thought about this for a long while, and since he was going to be Emperor, he had to get used to these kinds of decisions.

"After some serious thought, I have come to my first royal declaration: we were never here," Martin said, crossing his arms to punctuate his statement. "Just raw blatant absolute denial."

"Never?" asked Haku with a raised eyebrow.

"Ever." said Martin seriously.

Haku shrugged.

"Works for me."

* * *

Next Time:


	8. The Good Book

.

**Naruto's Oblivion**

by DireSquirrel

Chapter Eight

.

* * *

"So, since you're so sure that Haku will be fine with Martin, you'll have no problem weeding the garden, shoeing the horses, sheering the sheep, picking up our groceries from the Odill farm, and eliminating any other issues while you're staying here, right?" Jauffre asked in a tone that suggested heavily that it wasn't a question.

"Ondill farm? Isn't that where the guy who gave Haku the ice sword lives?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah, the place with all the goblins," Sakura said. "Whatever happened to those goblins, anyway?"

"Well, since they seem to really like living in mines, I bought the one up the hill from Chorrol and set them to work. I've got sleeping quarters for them, and I pass food through the gate," Naruto said, much to the horror of Sakura and the amazement of Jauffre.

"You enslaved them?"

"I wouldn't say enslaved, more locked them up for their protection and ours. It's, uh, what was it called when ANBU would keep me in that cage after a prank...? Protective Custody! Yeah, that's it!" Naruto said excitedly. "And this way no one kills them. Plus, I've made a whole mining operation inside. Plenty of silver. Did you know that they use silver for a lot of weapons around here? Apparently silver weapons can kill ghosts."

Sakura inspected her teammate through squinted eyes.

"You just had all your kunai and shuriken coated last time we were in Chorral, didn't you?" she asked in a suspicious tone.

"Well, yeah! Ghosts are freaky!"

* * *

And so it was that Sakura and Naruto did many, many hours of work that week. It was almost like being back in Konoha, with all the D-Rank missions. However, like with D-Rank Missions, they quickly became bored with them and just sent Naruto's clones out for them with the promise of Ramen. Naruto, however, had no ramen, and therefore dispelled them before they could become problematic. This of course, only worked for a short period of time before the new clones, having all of Naruto's memories, figured out what the plan was and then refused to do the work on their own. In their free time, Sakura practiced with her new sword and Naruto kept trying to learn how to walk on water. Twice during the week, Sakura went up to the city and spent some time at the Fighter's Guild, getting experience in some other weapons and learning how to use armor of various types.

During this week, Haku and Martin made their way out of the desert and discovered a little town known as Borderwatch. Though still primarily a Kajiiti town, it was friendly enough and the duo got cleanish beds to sleep in. While normally they would have preferred other arrangements, the knowledge that spiders the size of small trolls weren't going to attack them in their sleep was refreshing. The next day, they got directions and a new map. Martin took point and the map and got them to Chorrol in just a short while. There was a minor incident of them being chased by overly large minotaurs that were guarding a white horse, but they came out relatively unscathed. Then there was a medium sized incident at Pothole Cave with Necromancers. Haku, having visions of Skingrad, went into a berserker rage and cleaned out the entire cave in an hour. He sealed the necromancers and their gear into a scroll before marching right out of the cave.

"You're not a big fan of Necromancy, are you?" Martin asked.

Haku just shuddered and continued on their way.

By the time the duo reached their destination, they had, in order, (1) stopped a goblin war outside a new community east of the Nibben and recovered the goblin tribal totem, (2) saved a man falsely accused of being a vampire in the Imperial City and joined a vampire hunting guild, (3) discovered a strange door on a floating island in the middle of Nibben Bay, (4) accidentally stumbled on a subterranean community in the Valus Mountains of dark elf invaders from Morrowind, and recovered a Daedric Artifact (Martin decided that the village was an important find and so decided to make a proclamation to have it be a prison mine and put all those bandits to good use), (5) found six Daedric shrines, (6) recovered some special potatoes from an ogre and got some potato bread in exchange, and (7) were bitten in the buttocks by slaughterfish on multiple occasions.

Needless to say, neither man had a good sense of direction as would be shown later when Sakura compared the maps. They might not have been Ryoga Hibiki level lost, but they still could neither read a map nor had they the ability to determine north.

* * *

As they walked into Weynon Priory, both men were laden with heavy backpacks filled to the brim with storage scrolls made from the back side of Black Horse Courier broadsheets to the point that they were almost hunch-backed by the weight of the scrolls themselves. They arrived to find a large group of red robed men and women bound, gagged and tied to the wellhead in the priory courtyard. They did not look pleased.

Less pleased was Jauffre, who was angrily chewing out two Konoha ninjas.

"Hey! Nobody died, I call that a win!" Naruto protested.

"They stole the damn Amulet of Kings you idiot!" the old man bellowed.

"Nobody died, you idiot!" Naruto bellowed back.

As one could assume, Naruto and Jauffre did not get along well. Sakura stood off to the side with a grumpy look and her arms crossed. Having had kind parents, Sakura was not used to getting scolded in that tone of voice, nor was she used to having people threaten to shove her in jail.

"So," Haku said, drawing attention to him. "What did we miss?"

* * *

FAST TRAVEL NO JUTSU! Cloud Ruler Temple!

"Thank you, my friends," Martin said once they reached Cloud Ruler Temple, a structure that made the three ninja feel very nostalgic. It was built in the Akaviri style, which was apparently the name the people of Cyrodill had for people from their continent. The armor, the weapons, everything was like home.

"No problem!" Naruto said, giving him a thumbs up. Or at least he tried; the heavy Blades armor he was wearing prevented his arm from going up that far.

"I'm not sure what kind of Emperor I will make, but thank you, all of you," he said. "I owe you my life."

"Like Naruto said, no problem," Haku said.

"Do you think it was a good idea to convince Jauffre to bring us into the Blades?" Sakura asked.

"You saved me when no one else could, it was the least I could do," he replied. "And perhaps in time you'll grow into your armor."

He shot a bemused glance at Naruto who was practically swimming in his Blades armor. Naruto grinned from under his helmet and waved back. Haku leaned over to whisper to him.

"Maybe we should just seal that up for later. You can show it off in your castle," the taller boy suggested.

"But I like it!" he said. Sakura just pushed him with a finger on the shoulder and watched him fall into a clanging heap. Naruto pulled off the helm and looked up at them. "Okay, maybe you're right."

"Where to next?" the blond boy inquired as he struggled to his feet.

"Well, Baurus is in the Imperial City, and we haven't really had a chance to check it out," Haku said.

"At least that won't hide on us," Naruto said, crossing his arms and nodding. Standing next to him as he looked down to where the gigantic tower stood off in the distance, Haku nodded in agreement. Sakura just fell into a facepalm and sighed.

"It's easy," Martin said. "Just look for that tower." He leaned down to point the White Gold Tower in the center of the city.

"Right!" Naruto and Haku agreed with a firm nod.

Sakura looked to the nearest Blade and sighed.

"It would be funny if they weren't being serious," she said.

* * *

Bruma was the closest city and they needed a place to stay that was not too close to Jauffre who hadn't had enough time to calm down, even if the other Blades liked them well enough. Bruma was a nice town. Stuck firmly on a plateau just below the Jerall Mountains, the buildings were unfamiliar, with large logs, sharply sloped roofs and a dusting of snow over everything. But that wasn't a big deal for Haku, being of an ice bloodline, but it was positively frigid for the other two. Naruto was better off than Sakura considering his higher level of activity, but not by much. Being raised in the Land of Fire doesn't give much chance for the population to get too acclimatized to other climes.

Sakura, shivering, teeth chattering, skin with a vaguely blue tinge, turned to a guard just inside the gates and gave him a glare that made him shiver just as bad.

"I need a warm fire, NOW!" she demanded, managing to keep the teeth from chattering for a moment.

"Why don't you try the Jerall View?" the nervous guard said, pointing to a building a few streets up. Sakura, clutching her arms tight against her, marched right up and got inside.

"Thanks!" Haku said, waving to the guard as he followed the furious pink hair. The guard, as could be expected, blushed at the attention from the pretty "girl."

His companion nudged him with an elbow. "Get a hold of yourself man!"

"But-" he said, pointing to Haku.

"Honestly, if you get that flustered by a pretty face, I don't want to know how you react to Skjorta after she goes on a binge," the Nord guard grumbled.

"Who's Skjorta?" Naruto asked, not yet having followed his companions.

"That's Skjorta," replied the guard pointing to a buxom brunette who was just as ossified as she was naked, running down the streets with nary a stitch. Naruto's eyes bugged out in disbelief, too stunned by the sight of a very attractive, very tall Nord woman running along. After she vanished from view by running past the Countess coming back from the Chapel for her daily prayers, Naruto managed to shake himself out of his stupefaction.

"Isn't she cold?" Naruto asked.

The older Nord guard looked at him askance. His partner at the door didn't say anything, seeming petrified in amazement.

"You just saw a beautiful naked woman and that's all you can say?" he asked.

"How should I react? I'm not a pervert," Naruto protested, though his face betrayed his emotions with a blush.

The guard just looked at the boy, clearly confused.

"Never mind, why don't you just go find your friends," the guard said.

Naruto ran up the street and tripped, almost tumbling into an older woman. Oof!

There was the sound of a blade sliding from its sheath and Naruto looked up to see the blade right in his face.

"Assassin!" the Countess' bodyguard declared, pointing a sword at the boy.

"Ninja!" Naruto corrected.

"Ninja, where have I heard that word before?" the Countess asked. "Oh, that's right. I read about them in the Annals of Reman volume 4."

"Uh, who?" Naruto asked.

"Are you an Akaviri, young man?" the Countess Carvane asked him.

"Well, some people called me that, and when we took Martin to Cloud Ruler Temple that kinda looked like it belonged at home, and Old Guy Jauffre said it was made by Akaviri so I guess, sure, why not?" Naruto said, half thinking out loud. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and I'm going to be Hokage! Believe it!"

"Hokage, hokage," she said. "I've heard that name before; a title, am I correct?"

"Yeah, the Hokage's the greatest ninja in the Land of Fire, and he rules Konoha, where I'm from," Naruto said. Naruto might not have really cared about history, but he knew pretty much everything about the previous Hokages, excepting one little tidbit about the 4th's family, but that was rather understandable.

"Tell me Naruto Uzumaki," she asked, "Are you hungry?"

"Boy, am I ever!" he said. The Countess, well known for her obsession with Akaviri artifacts, guided the boy with a hand on his back up to her castle. "You wouldn't happen to have any Ramen would you?"

* * *

Inside the Jerall View Inn, Haku and Sakura, huddled together in front of the fireplace, suddenly realized how quiet it was.

"Where's Naruto?" Sakura asked.

"He didn't follow me?" Haku asked. "He didn't try to prank the guards like he did up in Chorrol, did he?"

"I sure hope not," Sakura said, "I think they're going to ban orange paint from now on."

* * *

As Naruto and the Countess approached the front doors to the noble's residence, Naruto gaped. "Holy crap! This is like three times the size of my castle!"

The Countess spun on him. She had assumed him to be a homeless vagrant based on his clothes. "You have a castle?"

"Yeah, the previous owner died, so I got it instead. It's really bare," he said. He saw the woman's confused look. "But I didn't steal it! The guards gave me the deed fair and square!"

"Very well, you can tell me all about it over dinner," she said, guiding him towards the front doors. Once inside, Naruto was amazed at how warm it was inside. And it was huge. The front hall alone was as big as an entire floor of Hokage Tower.

"You have a really big house," he said, feeling a little small with the height of the ceilings. The Countess of Bruma couldn't help herself and let out a little cackle of amusement. She nodded to her servant.

"We'll have dinner immediately," she said. "And make some ramen if you know what it is."

"I don't have a clue what it is," the cook replied.

"Damn," she said.

On the other hand, _inarizushi_ seemed to go over almost as well. It was an ancient recipe decoded by scholars who had originally thought it was a manuscript about troop movements in the Reman wars. On the other, _other_ hand, the Akaviri obsessed woman was just as happy to have a food that reminded her "guest" of home.

"So, tell me Naruto, what brings you to Bruma?" she asked, unprepared for Naruto's entire story of his life up until almost that precise moment. Naruto, strangely enough, did have a clue about the phrase "need to know" and he was damn lucky she wasn't a daedra worshiper, but somehow managed to spill the whole story anyway. But that wasn't the part that horrified her the most.

"You have an _elder daedra _sealed inside you?" she asked after it was over.

"Yeah," Naruto said. "I probably shouldn't have told you about that."

"Can it get out?" she asked worriedly. He paused and thought about it.

"I don't think so," he replied.

"Can it take you over?" she asked worriedly. He paused and thought about it.

"I don't think so," he said.

"Are you sure?" she asked worriedly.

"I guess," he said before changing the subject. "Thanks for having me over!"

"You are most welcome," she replied with a little smile on her face. "Tell me, Naruto, can you read?"

"Uh, yeah?" he said as if it were obvious.

"I apologize, but not everyone can read you see," she explained. "I have a certain text that came in through Anvil and my scholars have yet to translate it. I was wondering if you might be willing to take a look at it."

"Sure, I guess," he said with a shrug. She pulled a very familiar orange book from a pocket and handed it over. "Huh, Kakashi-sensei's book. I always wondered what this was about."

* * *

_What really happened with the scholars she had look at the book:_

"The Countess wants us to translate a new book she purchased," the head scholar said. He set the book down on the counter. The most talented Akaviri scholar opened it, read a few lines and quickly put it down.

"Maybe we can just tell her it's a laundry list?" he said.

* * *

As Naruto went through it, most would have expected him to be embarrassed, but there was one saving grace in his education. He had slept through all the biology lessons, and hadn't participated in the various talk that most of his male classmates entered into. As a result, a good number of the words and phrases made little sense to him, though he knew how to say them. He jotted down some notes on a spare bit of parchment and looked up after a while and shot the Countess a confused look.

"What's an aureola?" he asked. "And why would someone lick one?"

* * *

A sharp sound let off, echoing against the rocks as a new ship drifted into Summerset Isle waters.

"What was that?" Zabuza asked from the foredeck.

"I recognize that sound," Kakashi said. It was a familiar sound to the masked Jonin. "_That_ is the sound of someone discovering _Icha Icha_ for the first time." He turned to the west and bent his head in prayer. _ "Blessed be the __Icha Icha__ and many more volumes may it be."_

_"Amen,"_ replied a number of the sailors.

The other Konoha Ninjas who accompanied them sent some baleful glares in his direction. His one eye blinked at them innocently.

"What?"

* * *

Countess Carvane was not entirely displeased with the discovery. She could always pass it off as a religious text.

"So, tell me more of this Land of Fire," she asked, changing the subject. Naruto decided that was the perfect time to bring up his favorite topic. The Countess sat down in surprise as the boy explained the many varieties of Ramen, how it was made, the history, the specials and the sizes. He might not have a wide range of interests, but he damn well made sure he knew everything about those he did have. Had he a more scholarly bent, she would have commissioned him to write a book on the subject.

* * *

**Next Time**:


	9. Big Trouble in Little Bruma

.

**Naruto's Oblivion**

by DireSquirrel

Chapter Nine

_Big Trouble in Little Bruma_

.

* * *

The Kvatch Trio weren't the only Ninja visitors to Bruma. Black hair and red eyes greeted the dusk as Sasuke waited for the right moment. He had been given an order from Lucian Lachance and traveled directly to the Cheydenhal enclave of the Dark Brotherhood. Life there was interesting. The people were all different. Two, the lizard people, were born into the order as Shadowscales. Others were drawn by their own personal link to certain people, mostly brought into the order by Lachance himself. Sasuke did not see it as a lifestyle or an arrangement of a lifetime, but merely a stepping stone.

There was no one holding him back now. No, indeed, they encouraged his quest for vengeance against his brother, as murder was a fact of life to them. This brotherhood understood the need for positive reinforcement. You were given plenty of chances to get it done, but if you did it perfectly the first time you got a bonus. Every time he got a bonus, he gained a little more power, a little more strength. They gave him tips on how to improve, how to become more deadly, more fearsome. The only one he had a problem with was that damn cat. He had no interest in dealing with him more often than absolutely necessary, but those poison apples were so useful.

Sasuke was blatantly aware of how far behind he was when compared to his brother's strength. Itachi had been an ANBU Captain at thirteen, his eyes awakened at 6, not long after his graduation. Sasuke himself had only graduated at thirteen and it took being kidnapped and attacked with intent to kill before his eyes awakened. But since that point, he had only gone forward, gaining more and more power. His stealth was unparalleled in the Dark Brotherhood, not to mention his ability to disguise himself as anyone. While this was a mundane skill in Konoha and the shinobi nations, here it was a desired skill, something illusionists had tried for years. He had already tutored three people in the skill and their success rate was skyrocketing. Sasuke, however, was using those precious Sharingan eyes to throw himself further and further forward towards his goal.

He had joined the mage's guild. Magic was slightly different than ninjutsu but not too different according to his eyes. He made his way into the caverns where the conjurers and necromancers practiced. Deep inside, he sat, waiting and watching, his eyes spinning whenever it seemed like something interesting was going to occur. Then he would strike from the shadows, a blade in the dark, the chakra flowing through their coils acting as his only light. He saw this as no different from a c-rank mission executing bandits. Though he might respect their skills, he hated them for their abuse of the dead. While he hadn't the patience to do the recommendations and enter the Arcane University, there were plenty of spells available for him through the various vendors. And they gave training to anyone with a bit of coin. By now he could call up the souls of the dead, animate corpses, see chakra as well as any Hyuuga, throw fire at a whim or even freeze a target's blood solid with a touch.

His martial abilities had increased no less than his more arcane talents. Sasuke traveled to the Arena and unlike most warriors, he only went to watch. He would make a minimal wager, an amount he cared little about losing. All he wanted was to watch the champions. His sword skill was now equal to that of the Gray Prince, his archery as good as any blue or yellow team pit dog, bloodletter or champion. Watching over the fights, the Uchiha gained more than he lost in coin, and never even needed to shed a drop of blood.

In his adventures, the "Last" Uchiha had also discovered a flaw in his Sharingan: speed. It wasn't common, but every so often there was a bandit or monster that could move faster than he could react, even when he could predict where and how they would strike. He'd been working almost exclusively on his speed, strength and agility.

And all this brought him to Bruma. His target was an old man. He didn't know who had called for his death, and truth be told, he didn't really care. Sasuke bit into a tomato he'd stolen from a farm not far from the city called Applewatch as he waited for night to fall. He knew from his talks with the other people in his Brotherhood cell that there was a secret entrance in back of the target's house. It just wasn't safe to wait in the house where he could be seen. He wanted his bonus.

In order to earn the bonus, the target had to be assassinated in a specific way to make it look like an accident. Every night at the same time, the target would sit in his favorite chair under a stuffed minotaur bust. Sasuke only had to loosen the ties and his problem would no longer be a problem.

He checked the time. Five minutes since the last time he checked his watch.

This was going to be a long wait.

* * *

"I'm starting to get really worried," Haku said as he and Sakura sat at a table in the Jerall View. They'd been sipping this sweet, warm drink the people up there called "mead" (which was great stuff, tasted like honey and apple) for some time and just then realized that Naruto hadn't shown up.

"Itsh hokay," Sakura slurred, throwing back her fifth bottle of mead. "Heel be fhine. Hesh Nahrootoh."

Haku, more than a little buzzed himself, didn't even realize she was slurring. Forgetting their friend, they went on to have a conversation about wheelbarrows. This overly in-depth conversation took two hours and should have only taken a few sentences.

Back at the Castle, Naruto had a mission. There was this thing called the Draconian Madstone. It was a retrieval mission, kinda like hunting for Tora except the Draconian Madstone wouldn't repost with nasty giant claws all over his face. Or at least he hoped so.

He left the city and headed north by north east eventually finding the Dragonclaw Rock, which was not actually a dragon claw at all, much to Naruto's disappointment. Now, in something his friends would find amazing, he actually was able to read a map and find his way. He moved along and found the gigantic statue.

"Shouldn't that be looking up since there's a whole bunch of mountains in the way?" he pondered aloud as he trudged through the snow. Then, up ahead, was a door with snakes on it, which was NOT bigger than the statue like the map said. "This must be the place," he muttered. "Damn, I was hoping for a big giant door like the one in that tower of Oblivion. No wonder they didn't find this dinky little thing."

Inside he had a grand adventure battling ogres, wolves and a bear before he made it out the other side where he battled more ogres and a handful of wolves. He kept on going until he encountered a large ruin of an ancient fort. Inside were a whole bunch of skeletons wielding katanas and traps that didn't make much sense if it was once a functioning fort with real people. Finally, Naruto reached the final room.

"NOBODY SAID THERE'S BE GHOSTS! I HATE GHOSTS!" Naruto screamed tossing the orders at the Akaviri ghost and running into a corner to hide. The Akaviri commander, looked at him confused.

"Was it something I said?" Akaviri Commander Mishaxi asked to no one in particular. The man nodded to where Naruto was shivering in the corner. He glanced at the orders Naruto had left in his flight and smiled. "Well done soldier, you have my thanks. Long live the Akavir!" Naruto didn't seem to have any positive response so the ghost shrugged and opened up a secret door before vanishing.

Naruto looked left and Naruto looked right. Seeing no more ghosts, he stood up and took a deep breath. Creeping slowly, he moved along the wall until he was able to look around the corner into the secret room.

"Whew... no ghosts!" he exclaimed. "Well," he said straightening up. "That, uh, wasn't so bad."

Picking up the Draconian Madstone, he stepped out the back door and made his way back out to the entrance. "Funny how this fort doesn't look like Cloud Ruler Temple or any back home."

He opened the door and walked into a snow storm. Now, normally, this would have been a clue to wait out the storm, but forethought has never been one of Naruto's strong points. Naruto picked a direction and ended up on a mountain. A very, _very_ tall mountain.

"Uh, what is this place?" Naruto asked after banging on a door on a mountain building until someone opened said door.

"The mountain is the Throat of the World, and this is High Hrothgar," the old man with the very long beard replied.

"Do you guys have any warm clothes? Cuz I'm pretty damn cold," Naruto replied.

* * *

Back in Bruma, Sasuke dusted himself off as he congratulated himself for a successful assassination. He stepped out onto the street and stretched, feeling his back crack as he worked the kinks out. Waiting in one place for so long is not conducive to one's chiropractic health. So there he was, out on the street when a pink-haired girl and the other girl they'd been caged up with walked out of an inn. Haku and Sakura had been kicked out for public drunkenness and the fact that Naruto had been designated as the gold carrier. He cursed himself for his mistake as the girl's eyes went wide.

"Sasuke-kun?" she half whispered.

Sasuke stared at Sakura.

Sakura stared at Sasuke.

Haku, holding a still rather drunk Sakura on her feet, glanced between the two.

"Hn," Sasuke replied in a depressed, broody tone.

And that's when the guards standing by the front gate finished comparing Sasuke to the wanted poster the legion soldiers had just finished passing out a day before.

"Stop right there criminal scum!" one said, only for Sasuke to break out of his stupor and run the guy through with a sword.

"Sasuke-kun! Whaht are yhou dohing? Yhou can't khill the guar's!" Sakura protested as she tried to stand on her own two feet and failed.

"Uh, Sakura, I think he's proving without a doubt that he _can_ kill the guards quite easily, and I'm pretty sure that guars are a totally different thing. I think they're from Morrowind," Haku pointed out. "Should we be stopping him?"

"Sasuke-kuuuun!" Sakura moaned before her gorge rose. "Ih don't fheel sho ghood."

"Oh, not on my new robes!" Haku screeched, stepping away quickly. Sakura did miss Haku, but several of the guards were not so lucky. They slipped on the wet and quickly freezing steps, allowing Sasuke to dispatch the last standing guard with a blade through the gut and make a run for the gate.

The last two guards stood back up. To say that they were less than pleased would be an extraordinary understatement.

"You're coming with us!" one of they snarled, grabbing Sakura by the arm.

"Wait, where are you taking her?" Haku asked.

"The Bruma dungeons for aiding and abetting a known criminal," the other one said, grabbing Sakura's other arm.

"Is it warm in the dungeons?" Haku asked.

The two guards shared a look.

"Relatively I s'pose," said the second. Haku nodded.

"I should come along, right," Haku replied. "Since I'm, you know, a witness."

The second guard looked to the first for assistance.

"Uh, sure, why not?"

* * *

Naruto, now snugly wrapped up in a big wool blanket, was eating a bowl of soup. It was okay, but not that great.

"Hey, you know what would make this soup even more awesome?" Naruto asked.

"No," one of the Graybeards replied, well, the only one who actually ever said anything at all.

"Noodles," Naruto said seriously.

"What are these 'Noodles'?"

The poor Graybeard didn't know what he was getting into.

* * *

About five hours later, Naruto, using native Skyrim wheat, eggs and the finest melted mountain snow, produced the first noodles in Tamriel. "And you can dry them to keep for later or you can use them right away."

The Graybeards stood around nodded, hands stroking beards as they contemplated this new discovery.

"Come Naruto, we must thank you for this gift," the leader said, leading him out the back door, "Have you heard the Way of the Voice?"

"No, is that like Hari Krishna?"

The Graybeards looked at each other with a confused look.

"Probably not, but I think you'll like this," their speaker replied.

* * *

They were right. But of course, most twelve year old boys love the excuse to scream at the top of their lungs.

"_**Fus Ro Dah!**_" Naruto screamed, seeing a slight bit of snow move before him that might or might not just been from the mountain breeze. He turned back to the Graybeards. "How come mine doesn't knock people backwards?"

"You have to speak the words many times before your Thu'um is strong," said the old man.

"Hey, old man, I'll be the best at this because Naruto Uzumaki never gives up! Believe it, old man!" Naruto declared.

"You'll have to practice often and speak the words as much as possible for the Way of the Word to infuse your Voice," the old man replied kindly.

"Is that like the Will of Fire?" Naruto asked.

"Probably not exactly, but there's no reason they have to mutually exclusive," the old man replied with a shrug.

* * *

Sakura was sitting across from a guard in a dark room. The only light came from a sconce on the wall. The guard pulled out a large book with many other pieces of paper tucked into its pages and set the tome on the table before him. The dungeon was surprisingly warm and damp for the brutishly cold city, on the other hand, she was starting to sober up and the effects of dehydration on a twelve year old body were showing themselves. Basically she felt like crap.

The guard flipped open the book to the appropriate page.

"So..." he said slowly, glancing through the notes written on the yellowed pages. "You say your name is Sakura. What kind of name is that?"

"It's my name," she replied, eyes almost impossibly wide. If she wasn't suffering from severe hangover induced _mal a la tete_ and dehydration she might have started to cry. She wasn't even sure why she was in the dungeon.

"Sooo..." the guard said, drawing out the syllable. "Tell me, what is your connection to the notorious murderer known as Red Eyed Saskay Koon?"

Haku raised his hand. "Oo! I know that one! Pick me, pick me!"

The guard stared at the boy as he eagerly waved his hand. Pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut, the guard pointing to the brunette. "Fine, what's the connection?"

"He's her former teammate who ditched us all when we were leaving the jail with the Emperor. We haven't seen him since then until today," Haku replied in what he hoped was a helpful tone. "He's a real jerk from what their other teammate says. And since we just witnessed him killing guards, I'd say he's right."

"You seem quite flippant about their deaths," the guard commented.

Haku shrugged.

"Master Zabuza has killed a lot more for less reason," Haku explained. "He's killed so many that now he's known as the Demon of the Bloody Mist."

"... … ...and he's your master?" the guard asked, suddenly worried about being trapped in the same room with the person.

"Yes, he took me off the streets and saved me after my father killed my mother and then tried to kill me," Haku explained with a wistful smile. The guard, realizing that Haku was between him and the door, started to sweat nervously.

"And your master, is he here?" the guard asked.

Haku cocked his head to the side, clearly pondering the question.

"Well, I doubt he's here right now, but I have faith that he'll be coming for me," Haku replied, not realizing that the guard was starting to shiver. "I'm a very useful tool, so it makes sense for him to come find me when I'm missing."

The guard glanced at Haku, at the door and at the pink haired girl holding her head in her hands. He paused a moment, not moving a muscle. Then he slapped the book shut and nodded to the door.

"Okay, I've heard enough, you can go since you've been so cooperative," the guard said perhaps a little too quickly, nodding for them to exit before him.

Haku frowned.

"Do we have to? Sakura's been so cold since we arrived and I think this is the first time she's been warm and remotely sober since we entered the city gates," Haku said. The guard froze a second, thinking fast.

"Uh, no, town policy," he replied. "If you want it warm, may I suggest Leyawiin?"

And with that, the nervous guard tossed the two of them on their butts in the middle of the Bruma Great Hall.

* * *

Meanwhile, off the coast of the Summerset Isle, a certain ship captain was being held up by his shirt by a very angry jonin.

"What do you mean 'they won't let us resupply and trade'?" Kakashi said as he hefted the man one handed.

"Altmer wizards have led a boycott against Imperial goods, I tried to explain that we aren't from the Empire, but they didn't listen," the captain replied amongst gasps for air. Kakashi gave him a little smile with his eye and opened his hand, dropping the shipcaptain on the deck. "They won't let us even stay here if they think we're headed for the Empire."

"And just why did they get that impression?" Zabuza asked, holding the gigantic sword as nonchalantly as possible for a sword that size.

"I-I ma-may have h-hinted we were h-headed in th-that direction," the captain said. Nodding, the Mist ninja shared a look with the Copy Ninja, who nodded.

"I think it's time for some 'aggressive negotiations,'" Kakashi stated.

"My negotiations always involve me threatening to kill them if I don't get what I want," Zabuza reminded him.

"Yeah, that's pretty much what I was going for," Kakashi agreed. He looked over towards the three ninja he dragged along. "Shikaku, Inoichi, Choza, you three ready to go?"

Shikaku Nara looked at the silver haired ninja with an exasperated look.

"Troublesome."

"What's so troublesome this time?" Choza Akamichi asked as he wolfed down the last bit of food in the stores.

"Well, when they start killing the boycotters and blockaders, they'll destroy the metaplot for Elder Scrolls V," Shikaku replied.

"Dammit, Shikaku," Inoichi grumbled. "Stop breaking the 4th Wall."

"Troublesome."

* * *

**Next Time:** _Aggressive Negotiations!_


End file.
